Archive for July, 2011

In other news, Joe Blanton ate an entire pan of blueberry cobbler.

Luckily he threw seven innings of one hit ball and made the Pirates looks really silly. It also helped that the rest of the offense showed up tonight and pounded the living hell out of Roy look alike Charlie Morton.

Why Philly sucks?

The appearance of Shane Victorino and John Mayberry did little to quell the frustrations and sadness of watching a Philadelphia icon dryhump a screaming child’s rollaway.

Apparently the pain in Polanco’s back had become so resounding he’d contracted hysterical blindness.

There are really no high aspirations for a game featuring a ridiculously lopsided pitching match-up. Apparently there is a reason for this phenomenon as Tim Lincecum defeated Kyle Kendick with a 4-1 victory.

Whitey may not have had much to say for innings at a time, but I think Citizens Bank Park could really benefit from a statue of him kicking somebody in the balls for suggesting a sac bunt.

The Giants called upon their bullpen to preserve a 2-1 lead. Javier Lopez and Brian Wilson did just that and evidenced that San Francisco really does have the best bullpen in baseball.

As comic books have taught us, this will end well.

Prior to today’s game it was annonced that Lincecum would be missing the start due to a stomach illness and the collosal waste of salary Barry Zito would be moved up to face the Phillies.