Series 6-Pack: “Whores and cheap beer on me!”


Have you ever been so consumed by bitterness that food turns to ash in your mouth?

The Phillies play the Giants for the first time since Ryan Howard didn’t send a perfect strike over the outfield wall and forced a stadium full of Phillies fans to exit the premises in tears of rage.  Bryan Rosa from Frisco Fastball answered some questions I came up with quickly, so as to not to let the poison of bitterness seep in.  I failed a couple of times.

1.  The Philadelphia Daily News ran an article today literally telling people to relax not to take this series too seriously, claiming it was just three games in July, that the players weren’t acting like it was anything special, etc.  But I think we both know what we’re all thinking.  How effective do you think an article like that will be in taming the attitudes of Phillies fans?

The Giants beat writers were saying yesterday that it felt like a playoff road trip, so, at least from the Giants side, the players are pumped and I’m sure the Phillies players are feeling the same. But considering the amount of injuries both teams currently have to significant players and the fact that the Phillies are running out the back end of their rotation for the three game set, I’m not sure how much stock either side really should put into the three game set. One fan base is going to end up disappointed for little reason since the next three days won’t have anything to do with the potential postseason meeting.

2.  Boy, that Brian Wilson sure is quirky!  The Giants visited the White House, obviously, and as the defending champs, gave Obama a jersey signed by all of them.  When our country is bankrupt after August 2, will it be because distractions like the Giants kept pulling the president away from more important matters?  I say, “Most definitely yes.”

Wait – we’re not bankrupt just yet?! FANTASTIC!!! Whores and cheap beer on me! And bah – have you seen the price of autographs on Ebay?!? We could easily use the few hundred bucks that jersey would command for a new fancy budget calculator or something.

3.  Do you think Carlos Beltran’s value is being oversold at all as the trade deadline inches closer?  The media and fans have created such a manic stir about guys like Hunter Pence and Beltran joining their teams that in Philly, we’redriving our cars into Burger Kings.  Would he even be a good fit in San Francisco?

First off, if you’re going to ruin any potential fast food joint, I say start with Burger King – so good job. Secondly, as far as Beltran goes, I think he’ll be a help wherever he goes but as significant as some think? No. And you can damn sure bet that if he goes to Philadelphia or San Francisco, he’ll end up hurt, like everybody else. So yes, the fourteen games he’d play, he’d be a good fit.

4.  I find this small child despicable.  Your thoughts.

Ha! Can’t say I disagree with you.

5.  So Bochy used Halladay and Lee for multiple innings in the All-Star Game so that they’d be worn out and wouldn’t be able to pitch in this series, right?  If there is a single flaw in that theory, I fail to see it.  Diabolical.

Clearly, Bruce Bochy’s head is the size of an over-inflated beach ball for a reason. I was a bit bummed out however that Bochy’s plan to leave Lee and Halladay stranded in the Arizona desert didn’t pan out. Well, actually more just Halladay. Cliff Lee’s a pretty good batting practice pitcher for the Giants. OMGZ NO H E DIDN”Tz!!! *sad Texas Ranger fans*

6.  Don’t you think a rodeo clown pretending to be Brian Wilson is a little redundant?

What makes you think that is a rodeo clown pretending to be Wilson? Wilson has a lot of spare time….