Everyone Just Give Dom Brown a Break Because He's Tired

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“I remember going down to the Dominican my last year in professional baseball in 1998, and I think I struck out 10 times in my first 12 at bats.  I hadn’t played in weeks, and they wanted immediate results.”

–Ruben Amaro

That’s Ruben Amaro, explaining away Dom Brown’s unpeformance in the Dominican League, the details of which we have been covering extensively.  He returned early because he felt “sluggish and tired,” which obviously means:

  • Ken Oberkfell has been shooting paralysis darts into his neck while he sleeps.
  • He contracted Dominican Flu, which I was going to make a joke about until I Googled it and discovered it was a real thing.
  • The comeback brewing within him is going to equal the steps backward he has taken going 2-for-26, and the sonic boom it produces would destroy the continent.
  • Something that makes sense.
  • Dom has such faith in the Phillies re-signing Jayson Werth, he’s taking it easy on himself.
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