Archive for March, 2011

Being a human being, Harry had legs and arms and a torso, just like the rest of us.

We… we LOST Jayson Werth?! TO THE NATIONALS?!? Oh, yeah. Never mind. We’re fucked. Plus we’re old, too. You forgot that. So damn old.

I and several of the other Phillies writers formed some questions, asked them of each other, and went to town. The result is this mess before you.

The Phils were defeated 4-1 today bringing their spring training record to 21-14.

“This ‘celebrity’ who reached minor fame a decade ago is from Philadelphia, which qualifies him to write inane bullshit for ESPN in their endless attempt to clog the entire internet with pointless drivel.”

Brad Lidge can’t be bothered to be available on opening day. He can be bothered by bicep tendinitis, however, so we all hope those two are very happy together.

It’s almost as if the past few months of shouting at each other has been a complete waste of time

The pitching matchup featured Roy Oswalt for the Phils and Ross Ohlendorf for the Pirates. Oswalt gave up five runs in four innings today. Luckily, he was opposed by a pitcher that gave up six runs in four innings.

New York Mets Let’s get the Mets out of the way early this week. ESPN recently went to a New York bar, where many generous people predicted the Mets would win over 70 games.  Also the Wilpons’ previous investments are now shitting money.  Also they might trade Jose Reyes because he’s so injury prone once he tried to walk away from baseball entirely, and also, the Mets are shitting money.

When the curse came knocking, Doc opened the door, grabbed it, rolled it into a baseball, and threw a perfect game with it.