Chooch Surviving Extended Spring Training Despite Efforts of Enemies


Chooch is on an extended vacation right now, his reward for owning up to taking adderall.

February 25, 2013; Clearwater, FL, USA; Philadelphia Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz (51) works out prior to the game against the Detroit Tigers at Bright House Networks Field. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

But his enemies are everywhere, we’ve learned, as Chooch was struck on the wrist with a pitch during a game on Friday.  Why there are those out there to wish to destroy him – most likely out of jealousy – remains a mystery, except for the aforementioned presumptions of their jealousy.

That, or Chooch is playing in a league with pitchers who have yet to master control and fortunately don’t throw quite as hard as MLB-caliber hurlers.

Taking a single look at the combined numbers of Erik Kratz and Humberto Quintero, the guys filling in while Chooch gets all Chooched out, the Phillies rushed their catcher in for x-rays.  People have been looking forward way too much to Chooch’s April 28 return to have it jeopardized by some 20-year-old’s wayward fastball.

The x-ray results were negative.

Nice try, Chooch’s enemies!  You’ll have to try something a little more accurate or a lot more cartoonish to take him down.  Ha. Ha ha ha.

But don’t, though.  We need him.