Phillies Definitely Keep on Wanting Giancarlo Stanton


Can you believe it was only seven months ago that we had this:

Reactions were a mixed bag of disbelief and penis-punching threats. Needless to say, even legions of the irrational were unable to concoct a situation in which the Phillies traded their players no one wanted for the player everybody wanted. But could you imagine? Giancarlo Stanton? Any teams with the desire to win baseball games are perpetually in pursuit of him.

MLB GM jolts awake in the middle of the night

“Hmm? Wha? Stanton available?”

He grabs the phone and calls the Marlins.

“You’ve reached the Marlins. We’re asleep right now, or slowly loading a revolver in the dark, one bullet at a time. Also, Giancarlo Stanton is not available.”

“…. dang.”

And while this incident was hardly notable, except for the brazen misfire of the guy ‘reporting’ it, we’re left with nothing but fantasies about something that was, in itself, nothing but a fantasy either. Which I was dwelling on, just yesterday morn.

Ha ha ha, jokes. But lo and behold just today.

"“I’ve tried to trade for him at least 10 times,” GM Ruben Amaro Jr. said Wednesday afternoon.Amaro pretended to tap out a text message on his cell phone.“He says, ‘I’m not trading him,’“ said Amaro, pretending to read the response from Larry Beinfest, the Marlins’ president of baseball operations.—Jim Salisbury, CSN Philly"

Even Amaro is trapped in a fantasy realm on this issue. Fortunately, no one took the bait this time and reported a story about the Phillies wanting Giancarlo Stanton as the Phillies really going after Giancarlo Stanton. In all seriousness though, Marlins, let’s go here. You’re not going anywhere and you traded everybody else. Let’s not suddenly pretend you’ve got these big plans or something.