TBOH Midseason Free-for-all, Episode 5: “…people who like the taste of hard alcohol and finger nails.”


Last up in our series of midseason predictions is Justin Klugh (@TBOHblog), who has a whole mess of thoughts, most often expressed by violent crayon scribbles.

The doctors have sent him home, however, where he came up with this.

The Phillies are .500 at the break. This makes me (choose one): Confused/angry/pleasantly surprised/pleasantly confused/hungry

Angrily hungry.

“Ruben Amaro will find a suitable replacement for center field.” Is this a true belief, or something muttered over and over again by someone rocking back forth in the dark?

Yeah, that’s probably just scrawled on the walls of some haunted asylum, along with this chilling line of questions.

Who would it be?  How much would they give up for them?  Would they be the short term center fielder and the long term right fielder?  Or do the Phillies take Delmon Young seriously?  Do they still want Darin Ruf to be an outfielder, even though Ryan Howard is in a laboratory somewhere getting horse knees put inside him?  John Mayberry?

These questions and more will remain unanswered in your nightmares for generations to come.

Apr 21, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies third baseman Michael Young (10) fields a ground ball during the third inning against the St. Louis Cardinals at Citizens Bank Park. The Phillies defeated the Cardinals 7-3. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

The most exciting thing about Phillies baseball in the near future:

Does it become our prospects?   By default?  So who, like, Biddle and Franco and Asche?  Yeah, if I believed the Phillies would actually call them up.  If they traded Michael Young, replacing him with John McDonald or some other John McDonald-type wouldn’t contribute to any belief that they could make a run.

Likely, Frandsen would get the start at third, which at the moment, would be pretty cool. Galvis, potentially, would contribute.  So there seems like a line of almost-starters in the way of Asche, who of that [small] group is the only one with a shot at seeing the Majors this season.

So I guess my answer is “the potential trade of Michael Young,” as though he has been a hero a few times, he’s easily tradable, somehow, other teams want him, he could mean a younger, better defender gets to start in his place, and we could stop printing “…past a diving Michael Young” on all of our money.

The most unwatchable portion of Phillies baseball in the near future:

That crucial series at a key point in the season when we’ve just lost an important player and a division rival is coming to town. What I’m saying is, the Phillies will be completely unwatchable in the second except for people who like the taste of hard alcohol and finger nails.

The bullpen will get (choose one) better/worse/depressed/hungry

Well they have to eat at some point, so I’ll say “hungry.”  And that’s when we catch them all in a big net and leave them hanging from a tree.

Charlie Manuel’s job security – stronger than ever, like Utley’s knees, or weakened and fragile, like Ben Revere’s foot bone?

I haven’t used a brain cell on Charlie Manuel’s job for a while. I think other people would be better at managing what this team has (and will become), but if there’s some kind of run made and Charlie doesn’t want out, then the Phillies will probably bring him back.  Not doing so, despite a desire on his part, would be a radical shift from the way they’ve operated on that buddy-buddy level on which the upper tiers of this organization seem to operate.

Hey, everybody needs friends.  Isn’t that right, literally hundreds of friends I have?

Ruben Amaro will do (choose one) something/everything/nothing and it will be (choose one) brilliant/terrible/emotionally exhausting

As tragic as it is to fall back into old patterns, Ruben’s got me believing his words.  I think he’ll hold onto Utley and Lee, and probably Papelbon but possibly not, and trade Michael Young.  I think that’s the even play at this point.  Maybe then, we’ll see an exciting promotion to third like Freddy Galvis or Cody Asche.


But that’s a little too much fan service for Ruben to give it a shot.  If the right offer comes along, he won’t hesitate to trade somebody.  It should be obvious that “but the fans love him” factors about as much into Ruben’s decisions as “but Michael Young is a horrid defender.”

NL East: Braves

NL Central: Cardinals

NL West: Dodgers

NL Wild Cards: Phillies, Pirates

Jul 15, 2013; Flushing , NY, USA; American League first baseman Chris Davis (19) of the Baltimore Orioles during the Home Run Derby in advance of the 2013 All Star Game at Citi Field. Mandatory Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

NL MVP: Dom Brown – Phillies

NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw – Dodgers

NL ROY: Matt Harvey – Mets

AL East: Orioles

AL Central: Tigers

AL West: Rangers

AL Wild Cards: A’s, Red Sox

AL MVP: Chris Davis –Orioles

AL Cy Young: Chris Sale – White Sox

AL ROY: Oswaldo Arcia – Twins