Red Sox Begin Salivating Over Phillies Roster

Things have been going really well for the Red Sox this year, unfortunately.

But that makes them one of a few teams in a position to lick their chops at other rosters and prepare to feast on them as the trade deadline approacheth.  And that’s exactly what this article from Boston.com wonders.

Who on the Phillies will provide the most tender meat?  **evil laugh/hiss sound, like from demon snake**

THE SOX WANT:

• Cliff Lee

"“So if you’re pining for Cliff Lee, it’s probably wise to root for a 10-game Phillies losing streak over the next few weeks.”–Chad Finn, Boston.com"

Hey, shut up, Chad Finn.  We’re just… hey.

THE SOX DO NOT WANT:

• Jonathan Papelbon
• Michael Young

Find the right Phillies fan, and you’ll probably think the Phillies and Red Sox want and not want to have the same players.

What, the Red Sox don’t want to take any quad-A relievers off our hands for their stretch run?  They think they’re too good for Jake Diekman?  Well, let me tell you something, Red Sox:  Jake Diekman’s delivery can be fun to watch.  It’s what happens afterward sometimes that makes him less desirable.  He had some cool strikeouts last night.

But this is what will happen, now… the Phillies think they’re buyers, I guess, and anyone they buy won’t be too blockbusterish.  And as they do their thing, other teams will come calling with deals that do or do not sound good to Ruben, and he has to decide whether it’s worth it to hand Cliff Lee off to a snarling bunch of stalkers with funny accents.

No, not us.  In this scenario.

But with Papelbon’s recent 5-for-9ness and Michael Young being a one man gif factory,

It’s hard to imagine anybody appearing so scrumptious outside of Lee.  Though I guess some team could just use Young for his bat.  But how do you do… that.  I wonder.