Carlos Zambrano Beats Level One of Getting Back to Major Leagues


People have a lot of thoughts about Carlos Zambrano.

Well, mostly that one, ongoing one, which is predicated by his behavior and the foundation of some entire blog posts.  But his reputation is one of a man destroyed by his own rage.  So you can understand why signing him to any sort of contract at this point in his career, when even his contributions as a player aren’t as valuable as they used to be, feels alarming.

Jun 03, 2012; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Miami Marlins pitcher Carlos Zambrano (38) during the first inning against the Philadelphia Phillies at Citizens Bank Park. The Marlins defeated the Phillies 5-1. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

And then, to see him start approaching the actual Major League level – so that in the future we can’t just laugh this one off as a dumb thing we did once that never materialized – boy, that is unsettling.  It’s like watching a shark approach your shark cage; you knew the chances of him showing up here were good, and you were even kind of morbidly curious, but you were secretly just hoping he wouldn’t bother to appear.

Also the shark has a baseball bat.

So yeah, Zambrano is headed for Reading to make a double A star.  Reading, where sweet, innocent Jesse Biddle is.  My god.  Somebody gift wrap that boy.

The Phillies’ rotation has not been in brutal shape.  We all know of Kendrick’s success, Lee’s steamrolling, Pettibone and Lannan’s solidness, and Cloyd’s pulse.  In fact, Cole Hamels has been the most detrimental, if you’re going by who started.

And yeah, Hamels has been real bad, or at least inconsistent.  Kendrick got beat up recently.  Pettibone and Cloyd have gotten got.  And Lannan’s on the DL.  So fresh blood maybe helpful?  And with Carlos Zambrano, fresh blood is all but a guarantee.

See, I addressed the cliche of “Zambrano’s angry” jokes and now I’m just using it brazenly.  Wow.  What a web site.

Anyways, nobody’s too thrilled about this.  But let’s face it.  We’re not getting a Luis Castillo or Yuniesky Betancourt last minute stay of execution.  This will probably happen, because it’s 2013, and the Phillies aren’t the Phillies anymore.