Series Six-Pack: “Last thing we need is a left handed Matt LaPorta.”

And somehow, we’re playing the Indians again.

The last time was terrible, but it was in Cleveland, and this time, it’s in Philadelphia. So.  No 14-2 losses for us, thank you. 

Here’s Brien Heise from Wahoo’s on First, to tell us that everything is going to be something.

The Indians optioned Lonnie Chisenhall to triple A, right before a series with the team against whom he has historically (once) been a key offensive piece during wins by 12 runs. What I’m asking is, was he the worst player to homer off the Phillies in that series? And who will be this time?

From the way things have played out so far in Chisenhall’s career… probably. He’s just another example in a long list of “can’t miss” prospects who seems to be doing more missing than hitting. Sorry for the pun. But seriously, he’s been a disaster so far this season and it finally got to the point where something needed to be done. He had lost his job to both Mike Aviles and Ryan Raburn and when he did play, his defense suffered. Hopefully he turns things around eventually, but right now patience is starting to grow thin. 

May 12, 2013; Detroit, MI, USA; Cleveland Indians Nick Swisher (33) and first baseman Mark Reynolds (12) celebrate after the game against the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Park. Cleveland won 4-3 in ten innings. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Is the worst team to have to play right now than the Indians? Are they exactly what a team struggling to put together a modest win streak doesn’t need?

It’s really beginning to look that way. This is the team we thought we were getting from the start. Sure, it took a little time for it all to gel and for them to get where they are right now but did we panic? Well, yeah. That’s what we do. We were all ready to go jump off of the I-480 bridge in Cleveland, but things are better now. The Tribe is the hottest team in baseball. They’re pitching outstandingly and knocking the cover off the ball. That’s not good for anyone. Sorry, Philly.

Terry Francona cares about winning, not crowds. Will this self-absorbed obsession with winning and rejection of the fans be his undoing?

Something tells me he’ll be ok. Cleveland is a weird city. We’ve been jaded and scarred so many times in sports that we’re a little leery of short term success. We’ve been conditioned to act like this and we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop at this point. But, if come July or August this team is still in the hunt and playing how they’re playing now, the crowds will come. It’s just going to take some time for the fans to trust what is going on.

The city of Philadelphia so often acts as a human breaking point. Can we bank at all on the Indians being physically exhausted and emotionally gutted after playing a double header against the Yankees just before traveling to Philadelphia?

Unfortunately for the Phillies, the worst possible scenario played out. The Indians got wrapped up in two pitchers duels, at least for the most part, and they should be ready to go from a pitching stand point. Offensively, I’m a little worried we couldn’t get anything going against two pitchers I’ve barely heard of before, so hopefully they aren’t falling back into the habit of not scoring runs. But to answer your question, this team has taken the attitude of Nick Swisher and it’s been for the best.

May 11, 2013; Detroit, MI, USA; Cleveland Indians center fielder Michael Bourn (24) receives congratulations from teammates after scoring in the sixth inning against the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Park. Mandatory Credit: Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Jayson Stark pointed out that the Yankees’ lineup in game one of the doubleheader was actually $15 million less than the Indians’. When will the Indians stop offering ludicrous paydays to free agents so that small market teams like the Yankees have a chance to gain ground?

Not everyone can reach big spending baller status like the Indians. Some try to imitate, but usually they just end up failing miserably. On a serious note, I don’t know what’s going on with the Yankees. I understand that injuries happen, but some of the guys getting regular playing time right now is just mind boggling. And they’re in first place! I don’t get it. I really don’t. As for us, the spending this winter was a nice change. We actually have a team that we want to get behind.

Is there a better indication of success for a baseball franchise than a Star Wars team parody account? I don’t think you understand. He says things backward. Like Yoda.

I’m not sure if this story spawned the account, but legend has it that Mark Shapiro is a closeted Star Wars fan. One of the guys on the local sports talk show saw him at the Cleveland Orchestra’s Star Wars night and he denied it for months on end every time he went on the show. Why exactly no one’s sure, but the denial became funnier than the fact that he is a Star Wars fan. He finally came clean, and ever since then it’s been a running gag. So, that’s probably how this came about. Now of course, if it really is Yoda I’m totally stoked that he’s a Tribe fan. Strong is the Tribe, the Force is.