Phillies to Inexplicably Punish Broad Street Runners with Ticket Discount

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The Broad Street Run goes down this Saturday, and the Phillies have a message for all participants: Why not end the day in disappointment?

The run itself, spanning a massive chunk of Philadelphia’s primary thoroughfare, is full of runners who came to win, who came to be a part of it all, who came to inspire their family and friends.  At the end of the day, as their bodies finish screaming, the Phillies are initiating a ticket discount for all partakers.

This way, they can attend the Phillies-Marlins game at a lower price and unwind from the intense physical challenge with what has recently been some simply devastating baseball.

Apr 18, 2013; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels (35) delivers to the plate during the fourth inning against the St. Louis Cardinals at Citizens Bank Park. The Cardinals defeated the Phillies 4-3. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Sure, they won last night, but it’s tough to get the taste of a 20-2 pounding over the course of two games in Cleveland out of your mouth.  The sweep of the Mets was fun, but this team remains so inconsistent – in a lot of places – that it’s like watching a different team every night.  Are we getting fireworks or nails on a chalkboard?  With Cliff Lee being the last starter to not be totally perfect, it feels like at this point, we are constantly vulnerable.

And what’s suffering because of that?

Fan morale

Ticket sales, that’s what!  So the Phillies have invoked nonstop discounts all season long for Dollar Dog nights, or six packs, or whatever, just to get more butts in the seats and crawl back toward the team being a lucrative enterprise on a nightly basis.

Shockingly, poor play and bad luck don’t bring people out in droves.  But if the Broad Street Run and its exhausting honor can be linked to the Phillies, then hey, maybe we can get a few more weary asses in the seats.

Boy, I am really vilifying this kind, generous gesture by the Phillies.  You know what the real story is here?  Local Blogger Poisoned with Cynicism.  Sub-headline: “Didn’t Get Enough Sleep Again.”