Man Arrested for Loving Phillies to the Tune of $37,000


Wilmington!  The city of banks!  That place you pass on your way to the ocean and think, “Are we at the ocean yet.”

It was here that the local paper, The News Journal, reported to police that they had purchased 324 Phillies tickets and 81 parking passes.  Anytheories by the police that the newspaper was about to invite them to come to a Phillies game were destroyed when the News Journal reported that the tickets had been delivered to a wrong address and signed for by a not-newspaper person.

Police, waving off any sympathy for the miscommuniocation, then kicked down the door to a place they’d found on Craigslist, where the tickets showed up days later for sale.  After a brief undercover sting operation, it was revealed that the guy inside had received his tickets as a gift from one Scott Lascala (Michael Imperioli), whose workplace resides at 1209 Orange Street, and matches the address to which the tickets were incorrectly delivered.

Police released him and went on their way to find Lascala, which they did, and held him down as the Phanatic kicked him in the stomach and the Phillies voided the tickets.

Another successful episode of Law & Order: Opportunistic Baseball Crimes Division.