Ryan Howard Invites Mean Comparisons by Appearing on Swiftly Declining Telelvision Show

Remember “The Office” in its heyday? Michael Scott breaking up adorable romantic glances between Jim and Pam with ridiculous tomfoolery, letting America laugh and fall in love simultaneously in a whirlwind of emotion we could barely understand.

Every Thursday was a gleeful gigglefest to see how exactly those two would pine for each other, how Michael would ruin everyone’s day, and how Dwight would remind us all of that serial killer in our own offices.  Yes, that was satire at its finest.  Now, “The Office” has been on far too long to be funny, relevant, or good.  It is painful to watch as characters who were once hip, humorous, and fun are now worn out flesh-bots living the fantasies of the fourth-string writing staff.

Naturally, it’s time for Ryan Howard to make an appearance!

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See how easily I did that?  Well, we’re in for nothing but more of that parallel in the weeks to come as Ryan Howard prepares for his appearance on the NBC sitcom, because if I thought of it immediately, then you better believe there are at least 60 other better/worse writers out there who thought of it too.  And they don’t have Ryan’s best interests at heart.

Yes, I am implying that by insulting Ryan first to indicate what he’s in for is the same thing as protecting him.  STAY STRONG RYAN.  **whispering** We love you.

Of course, Craig Robinson said Ryan was “…definitely a better actor than John Krasinski,” which I believe instantly.

Not only is he the star cameo of an upcoming episode, but Ryan also serves as the clock with which we can measure they show’s tenure.  The character on “The Office” named Ryan Howard is actually named after the Phillies’ Ryan Howard, who at the time of the show’s debut was still playing for the Scranton/Wilkes Barre Red Barons, where the show is set. For those youngsters in the crowd, the Red Barons used to be the triple-A affiliate that the IronPigs are now, and a Red Baron is a type of frozen pizza.

Anyways, Ryan – the baseball one – will play somebody that Jim and Craig Robinson try to get as a client for their sports marketing firm, because apparently they work at one of those now.  Is this show even in the same office anymore?  What happened to Rashida Jones?

As the show declines into its series finale, it is not fair to invite the comparison that they are somehow only attaining guest stars who are rumored to be in decline.  I mean, have any NBC execs even seen Ryan Howard hit lefties this spring?!

For shame.