Roy Halladay Tragically Takes Self Out of Running for Opening Day Start


In a heroic move that history will remember as a sign of the apocalypse, Roy Halladay gave Cole Hamels his blessing to start on Opening Day.

Halladay hasn’t not started on Opening Day since 2002, when Chris Carpenter got the ball in his stead for the Blue Jays.  No one is really sure what effect this will have on the staff, team, fans, and axis of the earth, but experts agree that it can’t be good.

Halladay believes Hamels needs to inherit a leadership role on the team – a role both he and Jonathan Papelbon stressed the importance recently – and nothing says “I AM THE LEADER NOW” like dethroning Roy Halladay.

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Now, obviously, Hamels is an ace, and having to choose between Roy Halladay, Cole Hamels, and Cliff Lee as your Opening Day starter is a problem most teams would love to have.  But Hamels is clearly human, which is a flaw that Doc has eliminated by setting the bar at such a ridiculous, cyborg level.

This is not our first go-around with Hamels in a leadership role.  After 2008, when he was the media darling of the country, Hamels came to the 2009 preseason with all the pressure in the world and none of the offseason training to maintain his skill level.  Needless to say, he crumbled before our very eyes.

Hamels plans on being here for every one of his six years on his extension, and if he truly believes his own words, that he has not given up on this team or he wouldn’t have continued to be here, then this is exactly the type of… thing… he should have expected.

It’s also a sign that we need to get Roy Halladay a ring, stat.  Nothing more embarrassing than a Hall of Famer signing on board with your team to get to the World Series and then declining from the moment he gets here.