The Phillies have no legitimate trade chips, if their proposed trading partner is a team trying to avoid big contracts. Therefore, their rumored “aggressive pursuit” of Giancarlo Stanton seems appropriately out of the blue and inappropriately nonsensical. But, here it is, rumored up and everything.
So, with this as ludicrous as it is, we turn to Twitter for the responses this news deserves. Oh, also, they’re opening a Federal Donuts at Citizens Bank Park.