Phast Phive: Bona Phide Stars

In which TBOH’s writers drag links to your doorstep and leave them on the stoop as “gifts” for your readership.

John Stolnis

He got a Steven Lerud high-five, what else is there to prove? Frank Victores-USA TODAY Sports

Listen, we’re all down about how this off-season played out. We all wanted to see one or two bona fide star players come aboard the good ship Amaro, but that’s not what happened. And we all have a right to feel depressed, a little angry, and kinda hungry at the same time. I mean, we gotta eat, right? Which is why I’ve been on the lookout for some positive, optimistic stories about the Phils’ chances in 2013 and, lo and behold, I found one! Basically, if the Phils rotation does what it has done on average from 2010-2012, the Phillies will still have maybe the best rotation in all of baseball. That’s a good thing.

OK, now that the happy news is out of the way, back to the drudgery. Normally, I like The Delco Daily Times’ Jack McCaffery. His stuff is usually pretty good. But he absolutely lost his mind this week with this rant against the Phils’ off-season. I mean, I’m as pessimistic as the next guy, but don’t tell me the Phillies are cheap and betrayed their fanbase. A $200 million payroll is simply not a realistic option.

While Phillippe Aumont looks like a promising bullpen arm for the future, the trade that send Lee to the Mariners still looks pretty crappy. Especially considering the Phils released one of the pieces that came to the club along with Aumont, J.C. Ramirez. Good news though, guys! Tyson Gillies is still here! *muted golf clap*

And finally, to help lighten the mood after a tough last few weeks, here is a video compilation of Japanese bat-flipping. No, seriously. It is.

Justin Klugh

It would be all too easy to chalk up the Phillies’ failure last year to injuries.  So let’s do that.

The Phillies had some incredible luck with injuries for a few years.  Then, the loss of Utley and others for noticeable chunks gave background guys a chance to step up and be the feel-good story of the year.  It made for a hell of a DVD yearbook.  Last year, those guys stepped up again, and helped right the feel-angry-and-sad story of the year.  Now, when we look back, instead of seeing utility guys coming through, we see a trail of bodies.

Remember when Jeff Francoeur was a thing? Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

As Jeff Francoeur once said, “The Phillies have done great, I understand.  But, God, they have not had the injury bug.  Bless them, I’m not praying for them to be hurt, that’s great. But you feel it’s got to kick up sometime.”

Thanks to Francoeur’s with doctoring, the injuries certainly did “kick up.”  And now we can do nothing but reflect on a lost year; until now, as we can now analyze a list of numbers and money lost due to Phillies’ injuries of the past five years.

You know who didn’t get hurt in 2012?  Carlos Ruiz.  And he gets to play again in 2013, according to baseball rules.  If only we could visit the future and determine exactly how he will be.

What’s that?  He certainly did get hurt in 2012?  It cost him his MVP candidacy?  Also he is suspended 25 games to start the 2013 season?

Maybe I’m the one whose injured, and I’m lying on North Broad Street right now having a prolonged fevered dream after walking into a lamp post whole celebrating the 2011 Opening Day comeback victory.

Ethan Seidel

With no moves left to be made now the fun of putting the lineup together begins. It should be a fluid process for Charlie throughout the spring (especially minus chooch) but that didn’t stop Bill Baer from having some fun with it. Bill’s lineup makes the most sense if you believe in statistics, but I have a hard time believing Charlie and the gang will follow it to the letter.

If you were looking for some insight into how the Phillies are going to use Delmon Young, Charlie Manuel was his factual, vague self. You can read the quote here, but he basically revealed that Delmon Young has played baseball, he is a hitter, and he is ok at it. Thanks Charlie.