Jeff Francoeur Doesn’t Wish Phillies an Injury-Plagued 2010, But Totally Does


The Phillies have done great, I understand.  But, God, they have not had the injury bug. Not one guy has been out the last two years. Bless them, I’m not praying for them to be hurt, that’s great. But you feel it’s got to kick up sometime.

Okay, Jeff.  I cut you some big, ugly, bearded slack.  I still have that image in my head of you slamming your helmet down in frustration as Eric Bruntlett tried to conjure some high-fives out of his teammates, who seemed more shocked that he did something with his glove other than mistake it for a sleeping cat.

An unassisted triple-play happens so infrequently, to have it happen to you at the hands of him… I mean, the game may as well have ended with a UFO hurdling out of the sky and exploding in the Mets dugout.

That must have sucked.  When even the least productive member of a team is able to snuff out any spark of progress against your biggest rival, it’s got to be like getting French kissed by… by… well, Eric Bruntlett.


But don’t come at us with your bad mojo, Jeff.  And don’t blame a black hole of baseball that has reached such epically vile proportions that it can only be described as “Mets bad” on injuries alone.  There’s a reason nobody wanted to play for you guys.  The team chemistry was awful.  The locker room was like a junior high cafeteria.  The pitchers were inconsistent.

The Mets just smelled like they were going nowhere; who would want to play for a team of unfriendly, bone-breaking, cold-shouldering, underperformers?  Jason Bay, I guess.

I mean, something’s got to be wrong if your newest strategy is to flat out say that its about time the Phillies got their nuts caught in something.  “Sure, I can’t say I want the Phillies to get hurt, because that would make me look like a classless piece of trash, but, you know.  It would make our jobs a lot easier if the teams that were better than us got totally sidelined by career-ending injuries.  And there’s nothing wrong with saying that.”

Meanwhile, the New York Times reports that Jose Reyes has recently returned from rehabbing on his couch by watching movies for 19 days.  Literally.

I sure feel bad for the Mets.