Some people–notably in local and national media outlets–would have you believe the Phillies are a big red reason to despair.
But ask Charlie Manuel about anything, from the bullpen to Jimmy Rollins playing in the World Baseball Classic, and he’ll give you a big thumbs up, as if he doesn’t even know that Michael Young will be starting at third.
- “Different scenery helps Jimmy. It matches his personality and how he looks at things.” [On Jimmy in the WBC]
- “I’m excited about our bullpen.” [On the relief pitching]
- “Yeah, he can hit fifth. He definitely can hit fifth.” [On Delmon Young]
- “Look, do I want to manage the Phillies? You’re damn right.” [On how damn right you are about him wanting to manage the Phillies]
- “I’m glad I got to see that.” [On witnessing damage from Hurricane Sandy]
Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports
It may be nuclear winter for the Phillies, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by the way Charlie Manuel is skipping down the street, whistling, and passing the charred, ash-covered streets of post-apocalyptic Philadelphia without any rightful fear of the undead.
Maybe he has the right attitude, choosing to like things, rather than learn about how awful they are and then hating them. It probably makes for a more pleasant existence. Charlie does get invited to a shitload of banquets, dinners, and cruises. Maybe the reason people want him around so often is because he doesn’t make them want to curl up under the covers with a loaded shotgun.
But no! We mustn’t succumb to blissful existence. We must continue to let the Phillies world know how painful and joyless the coming days will be.
AAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA GOD NO