Shane Victorino Returns to Philadelphia for Event that Does Not Make Anyone Nostalgic or Teary-eyed


"“Who wants cake?!”—Shane Victorino"

It’s not that we think Shane Victorino could have been an effective member of the 2013 Phillies.  We don’t know that he wouldn’t have been, either, but that’s just another one of the pitfalls of our government’s failures in the time travel arena.

But, career worst OPS or not, Shane won’t be in Clearwater this spring for the first time in eight years.

PICTURED: ??? Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Being traded, however, doesn’t mean people are banned from the city they were traded from, which I learned as a painfully gullible nine-year-old.  And Shane came back to Philly the other day to visit the Nicetown Boys and Girls Club building that shares his name.

During the delightful afternoon, during which Shane shared cake and baseball stories with some children and hung out with David Montgomery, Shane reiterated that he wanted really, really badly to come back to Philly.  But nothing was going to put a dent in Ruben Amaro’s resolve to revamp the outfield; not all of his assistants pleading that two platoons in the corners was a bad idea, or the 11 frantic voicemails Shane would leave him a day asking to return.

Even during the party, Shane refused to give up on the idea of coming back.

"“You never say never. Will I never be a Phillie again? Who knows? But right now I’m a Red Sox and I’m focused on that opportunity.”—Shane Victorino"

Shane will be back again in May, when the Red Sox come to town, and he’ll revel in the prolonged ovation the crowd will give him–**grabs your arm roughly** and you will give it to him–but, well.  The Shane Victorino era is over.

Until he comes back for his Wall of Fame induction, signs a one day contract to retire with the team, and takes over for Gregg Murphy as the in-crowd game correspondent whose supposed to interviewing the 90-year-old lady with the extensive Phillies hat collection but every time they cut to him he’s dancing with the Phanatic.