Nick Swisher Currently Being Wooed by Indians as Phillies Watch Silently from Afar

Nick Swisher, who many have agreed would be the perfect corner-outfielding, power-hitting, Norelco-wielding player the Phillies are looking for, is apparently being held in Cleveland, apparently under his own free will.

The Indians, clearly a little out of their element in the “big name signing” pool and overcompensating to an almost ludicrous degree, appear to be the current “favorites” to land Swisher.

Swisher, coming from the Yankees market, may find the Indians oddly appealing, as he bothered to go all the way to them, instead of just wordlessly shaking his head and grimacing while his agent held his hand over the receiver and mouthed “Cleveland?”

Perhaps he sees the frail Cleveland sports culture as a vacation of sorts from the relentless lights and microphones and questions about why he sucks so god damn much in the playoffs that come from playing in anywhere in the northeast.

Or maybe they just made a hell of an offer and he’s geuinely entertaining the notion.

All that really matters is that at the moment, the Phillies are not “in” on a guy who they could really use, and naturally, someone else is.  And it seems like it’s going quite well, despite the obvious.

Debby Wong-USA TODAY Sports

Now we all know that the less Ruben says about a player, the more likely it is that he will sneak in like a serpent and winding up signing the guy, hissing and flicking his tongue as he does it.  It’s weird.  But the Phillies have not really made a peep in the guy’s direction, and as we watch him get courted by the Indians, which is like, whatever, you have to wonder where we are on this one.