Michael Young Survives Onslaught of Questions from Internet


Before any player joins the Phillies, he has to pass the rigorous filtering process of the fans.  He does not know he is going through this process, and it does no affect his standing with the team whatsoever, but it does take place.

He faces such blistering inquiries as, “More like Michael Old, right? lol” and “THIS GUY IS PIECE OF SH!T FIRE RUBE KILL CHARLIE.”


Yes, the internet is an unforgiving battle ground, where the battle between human beings and their dignity rages on daily.

The Phillies propped up Young in front of a pit of exploding flashbulbs to answer some questions we’ve had for days.  Days.

First, he gave the Rangers a tongue bath, which was… fine.  I suppose you couldn’t play with the same team for 12 years without forming bonds based on “human emotion” or whatever.  I guess the fans, too.  Naturally, they feel betrayed.  Not by Young or the Rangers, but every time an athlete beloved in another area comes to Philly, there’s that totally understandable instinct of “betrayal of humanity.”

“It’s a championship caliber team.  I’m looking forward to being a part of it,” Young said, after waiting like four days before deciding to join it.  “You have guys on that team with World Series rings, who’ve been down that road before,” he continued, careful not to say anything about how old and crappy the Phillies are.

“I’ll be right there with them, I’ve played in big games, I know what the October experience is like, and I’m excited.”

“‘Excited’ is a dangerous way for a guy to feel at Michael Young’s age,” said me in my last “Michael Young is old” joke of this blog post.

We may not be super excited about the trade, but at the very least, Michael Young is a good guy that you want to see succeed.  It’s just that after looking at the numbers, you may not necessarily believe that he will.  As far as clubhouse guys go, guys like Ben Revere and Michael Young fit the model we’ve come to expect from this team.

And I know quoting intangibles as a strength is baseball internet damnation, for good reason, but in this trade, until we see what kind of third baseman this 36-year-old DH is going to be, that may be the only thing to cling to:  At least he won’t tear the clubhouse apart with drama.

Unless he has to decide something.