Phillies Mural Premiere Delayed; to be Temporarily Replaced with Quad-A Utility Mural

Back-up mural to achieve cult status, then be despised after unsustainable run of success

ICONS COLLIDE AND WE ALL BENEFIT Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE

You can stop trying to convince yourself that mid-October still counts as summer and that the Phillies mural will be unveiled any minute.  It’s not happening now until summer 2013, a summer that will be full magical rediscovery, as the Phillies take back the division after a series of strategic roster moves and long drives out to the country to abandon certain dead weight.

So what’s the hold-up?  “It’s just paint on a wall,” you say?  Well, I’ll have you know, you ignorant rube, that art requires more than paint.  We are trying to install a cultural icon for this city; to embody decades of Phillies baseball so that dog-walkers and river folk can stop on their way, gaze upward at the majesty of dual World Series victories and say, “Yeah, I am a part of this.”  Heroes, frozen in time, will be there for us to recall on frigid winter morns the warmth of summer’s glory, whether through Ashburn, Schmidt, or Utley.  Any sort of delay is perfectly acceptable, as we are coloring a page of history, and if they need more time to get it right, then they shall have it.

What’s that?

"“We are still involved in discussions concerning the process and scheduling of wall preparation with all the various parties involved.”—Mural team director Michael Harris"

…it really is just a “wall” thing?

Well, still, you’ve got to assume that whatever preparations go into a wall, they’ve got to be just right.  Again, history and legacy and winter morns and all that.  I wonder who the various parties are?  And what they’re discussing?

"“We have this Phillies mural we’d like to display for all the world to enjoy on your wall.”“Are you serious?  That is literally the achievement of my wildest, most erotic fantasies.  Let’s take some time to make sure my wall is wall enough to support such a dream.”–How This is Probably Going Down"

Regardless, it makes sense to not unveil a mural celebrating the Phillies during a season in which they celebrated very few times.  Maybe during that Brewers series.  But if they want to gamble and hope that 2013 will be a mural-worthy summer, then I am willing to walk past 24th and Walnut with my eyes forward like some sort of normal, unthrilled street-walker.

For now.