Nate Schierholtz Officially a Phillie Thanks to Broken Toe


Once you put on those pinstripes, it’s only a matter of time.

Nate Schierholtz had to be tip-toeing around the Phillies clubhouse since he got there; checking around corners; unplugging extension cords; disinfecting any available surface.  Rumor has it all reporters were forced to undergo rigorous disease screening before being allowed entry, per a hastily written memo in Nate Schierholtz’s handwriting and signed by “Dr. Nate Hierscholtz, attorney.”

He’d seen the disabled list.  It was primarily Phillies.  And now that he had become one of them, he lived in fear of joining their decrepit ranks.

He fears no more.  For he is gone.

Nate Schierholtz was assigned to the 15-day disabled list with a broken toe, but given the nature of injuries haunting the Phillies clubhouse in 2012–burst achilles, broken backs, etc.–he seems to have gotten off easy.  The outfield, however, has not.

"“He’s only hitting .219 but has easily been the Phillies’ best outfielder since the trade deadline.”—Chris Branch, Philled In"

It’s a pretty disgusting statement, but when you peruse the list of who will be filling in for Nate–anyone from Laynce Nix to Michael Martinez to the recently re-re-re-re-returned to the roster Hector Luna–it’s also got to be true.