Game Day Six Pack: “Jeff Gordon is the true Marlin Maniac”




Miami Marlins are a great lesson in 21st Century corporate branding. They changed their stadium, the jersey’s, even their name to rid themselves of their poor reputation built by former owner Wayne Huizenga. But, at the end of the day they are still the same old fledgling Marlins we know and love.

Our fearless leader Justin Klugh tracked down Marlins Maniac editor Ehsan Kassim to get all you need to know about the 2012 re-branded Marlins. Justin couldn’t be here to present his findings in person as he is trying to find out how Chase Utley’s pre-existing knee condition will affect the teams medical bills under Obamacare.

I noticed that tickets to tonight’s game are eight dollars (because you said it).  Has the Golden Age of Marlins baseball come to a close?  Or is that actually a high price to pay for baseball in South Florida?

The Marlins have not sold out any games since Opening Day against the St. Louis Cardinals. Still, the team is drawing 10,000 more fans a game then they did last season. The park looks amazingly less empty, even if the fans are just going to piss Heath Bell of and chant “Let’s go Heat.”Either way, no one in the Marlins organization should be upset with the attendance figures, as we are on pace to surpass 2 million for the season. Baseball tickets will always be cheap in Miami, especially if the Marlins are playing as crappy as they have.

On the other side, Jeff Gordon took some time off from being the only NASCAR driver I’ve ever heard of to write about how the Marlins have ruined everything.  Here are my favorites gems from his brazenly negative article:

  • “Here is your reality: The Marlins stink, again.”
  • “Ozzie Guillen has flopped miserably.”
  • “…Heath Bell has failed horribly as the closer…”
  • “Spending $106 million on [Jose Reyes] wasn’t the smartest use of resources.”
  • “The Marlins have become yesterday’s news.”

Whose sentiments are the closer to reality, Loria’s or Gordon’s?
 I wonder what the Marlins did to make him so sour. Loria’s sentinments are closer to reality, and it is not even close. Jeff Gordon should look at some facts.

The Marlins have had the greatest increase in attendance in baseball. Jose Reyes has been the Marlins most consistent player, as he was also a huge part of the Marlins success in May. I bet Gordon was not writing this shit when the Marlins were winning in May. Albert Pujols did not see any type of charade in Miami, he saw more green from the Los Angeles Angels and decided to go there.

Pujols also left the Cardinals pathetic ass team, after they won a World Series, does that mean the Cardinals run a bigger sham than the Marlins?

I wonder if the Marlins turn things around, what his reaction will be then?

Alright, rant over!

Will Giancarlo Stanton’s appearance in the Home Run Derby be some novelty fun or just widen the window of opportunity for a vicious injury to strike?
When you say vicious injury, do you mean to Stanton or one of the many objects/people/walls that Stanton will destroy in the home run derby? I believe Stanton will make this home run derby as fun to watch as there has been in the past. Stanton has some amazing power, and it is a beauty to watch.

Now, the Royals have already asked to keep a couple of ambulances on stand-by. The Royals are already seeking alternative venues to play the rest of the 2012 season in case Stanton decides that he does not like the stadium and decided to tear it down, with just a baseball bat.

Rank these things in importance to the people of Miami, one being the most important:

Miami heat

Miami Heat, the basketball team

Face-eating cannibals

Dolphins training camp

The removal of the ban on liquor sales in strip clubs

The Marlins

How much will Dwayne Wade’s absence from the Olympics hurt the USA’s chances?  Whoops, I accidentally asked a Heat question instead of a Marlins one.  I… well.  I guess just answer it.

I would say it should deeply impact the USA’s chances. Four players as of now have pulled out, including Derrick Rose, Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, and Dwyane Wade. But then again, looking at that roster, it is still so damn amazingly deep. i don’t believe the USA will lose either way. We still have the two best players in the planet…

Oh wait, someone just told me Brian Scalebrine and Mike James did not make the team. SHIT!!