Phillies Deny They Aren’t Not Uninterested in Jorge Soler
By Justin Klugh
The Phillies have been described as “in hardest on” Cuban OF prospect Jorge Soler, which is a prepositional miscarriage the world has never seen. What I believe this means is that they are interested in pursuing him, along with several other teams dragging wheelbarrows of money behind them, which marks the first player under the age of 38 the Phillies have had interest in since 1911.
Hardball Talk has a pretty definitive shot of a “Cuba” jersey to prove it.
Of course, they also are saying the Blue Jays, Orioles, White Sox and Cubs are involved but obviously they don’t need to put that in the headline or talk about it or even really acknowledge it so they should be pretty honored they were even included.
Ah, big market contenders! **Sips hella expensive wine cooler**
So, Jorge is 19 years old. Some people think he’s better than Yoenis Cespedes, and those people will certainly vocalize that belief now that Cespedes is unavailable and can serve as a shock value comparison. He’s been called a “potential five-tool player,” but so was Domonic Brown, and we all know how that turned out. Or, is currently still turning out. He’ll be fine.
Regardless, we can start dreaming now about what it will be like to have a Top 100 position prospect in our minor league system. It’s pretty pitcher-heavy at the moment, and if I hear one more person specify that Freddy Galvis has the defense but not the offense to compete on the Major League level, I am going to start an internet fire that burns all the way to Al Gore’s basement. Not because it isn’t true, but because “All-glove-no-bat” might as well be his last name at this point. I sure hope Freddy’s using that as motivation to abuse the hell out of the ball.
Anyway, no one can actually come to terms with Jorge because he’s a god damn teenager and is still being hassled by the Office of Foreign Assets Control, I guess because he’s grounded fro sneaking out or something. The Cubs thought they had him, but seem to have lost out due to what I just said and probably because of some curse or something. It’s the Cubs.
Now, we wait. Do the Yankees hurl themselves at them, like high class prostitutes nearing the end of their desirability and just wanting the attention? Do the Cubs pull through as the scrappy underlyers? Do the Phillies step in and, through the person of Ruben Amaro, use common sense and the sweet, sweet seduction of Philly herself to land the highly touted prospect? Who knows. But when it all goes down, you can bet your ass you’ll read it on this blog, several days after it has happened.