Jimmy Rollins Now in Danger of Being Dragged Away by Tigers


"“It is unclear how aggressively the Tigers are pursuing Rollins.”—Philadelphia Daily News"

What Jimmy is doing on vacation out in the wild is beyond me, but I suppose the pressures of his current situation have begun to weigh on him.  I just think it’s a shame that he’s fallen victim to the terrible hunger of ferocious jungle cats.

As someone who watches a lot of NatGeo, I can tell you that tigers don’t pursue anyone without aggression, especially if their young are in danger.  Was Jimmy Rollins taking pent up frustration about his contract by stalking tiger cubs?  Possibly.

If anybody deserves to get reverse mystery team’d, it’s Ruben Amaro.  And unfortunately, he is our general manager.  Not that I’m saying is wrong with him, ever, because he’s probably watching somehow, but that he is in a position where the universe may want to balance things out.

Ruben has been the mystery team so many times, though, that he should be able to sniff one out.  We’ve been told over and over again that with the Brewers dropping out and the Cardinals signing Rafael Furcal that J-Roll’s signing is imminent.  Which would be easier to believe if it had happened by now.  Otherwise, it’s less “imminent” and more “suspiciously not done yet.”  Because to me, “imminent” has always meant “definitely going to happen.”  I think it means that to most people.  And dictionaries.

So, for someone else to announce that they’re sliding in there is not that surprising, as this imminent re-signing has taken far too long for their to only be two mouths talking.  The fact that it’s the Tigers is not shocking either, but everyone seems convinced that it’s them.  Dan Lozano took immense joy in telling everyone that he has another team on the line, then slimed his way back to his office to add more snickers to his voicemail message.

We enter the home stretch of the Christmas season unsure of whether our beloved shortstop is honestly trying to be re-signed, or still darting around like a spritely wood nymph, throwing every morsel of attention back at the Phillies to stir up jealousy.  In the mean time, Jimmy will continue taking the lives of endangered species babies.