Shane Victorino Maintains Crusade to Save World


The world is being swallowed by darkness.  As the walls close in, we clutch whatever is dear to us, hoping it can somehow provide endless hope for the future.  Sometimes, this takes the form of Sunday Night Football.  Other times, it is a golf tournament.

Shane Victorino is, as always, attempting to spear a beam of light through the shadows.  His foundation, the absurdly named Shane Victorino Foundation, works to better the world by giving money to the parts that aren’t actively destroying it.  

And if you were going to do that, why wouldn’t you start with the place on earth that is most common in people’s fantasies?  That place is Hawaii, and it just so happens to be where Shane is from.  So not only is he making the world a better place, but he’s also helping to stabilize the place that produced him; a wild-eyed, enthusiastic, talented baseball player with the speed of the gods.

Through Shane, we can see what its like to not be all spiteful and brooding about your hometown.  Hawaii has the added bonus of being sun-soaked paradise whose mayor isn’t in the middle of a corruption/sex scandal involving most of his housekeepers.

So anyways, Shane hosted a golf tournament, and you know that it actually mattered because Albert Pujols showed up.  The Wailea Golf Course was home to Shane’s latest good deeds, which included raising a bunch of money for local charities that help kids and families.

So, the next time your walking down a city street in the rain cursing humanity, just remember that people like Shane Victorino are out there, playing golf.  But not for the reason people normally play golf; because they’re drunk at 6:00 am or they’re trying to escape a loveless marriage or they think it’ll make the Cialis work faster because people are always playing golf on erectile dysfunction commercials.

No, Shane’s doing it for the kids.  Unlike you, sitting here, reading this blog.

What are you doing with your life?  And why aren’t you doing it in Hawaii?