Phillies Prospects Wait in Terror for Final 40-man Roster Spot

Four new gentlemen have been added to the Phillies 40 man roster, reports Matt Gelb, the guy I stole this information from:  AFL standout Jake Diekman, Phillippe Aumont, Tyson Gillies, and Sebastian Valle.  That only leaves one precious spot left for the final contenders.  Traditionally, this space is awarded to the prospect who successfully deciphers a series of complex series of mystic puzzles hidden in a hedge maze.  Those being blindfolded and released into the twisted rows and columns that may or may not contain several vicious attack dogs just to make things interesting are:

Jiwan James, OF

Jiwan is the obvious choice here; he’s quick, he can hit, he showed up way early for Spring Training last year.  Filthy traitor Mark Parent thought he was the best player on the Lakewood BlueClaws, when both of them were actually there.  Anyways, you know who he is.  If you follow him on Twitter you know damn well how strong his dedication is to both baseball and Tim Tebow.

John Bowker, K

Bowker was the Phillies late season left handed strikeout option who we all laughed about until we actually saw him play and then we all got really mad at him because he was terrible.

Scott Mathieson, RHP

The Rudy-ness of Scott’s story has worn a bit thin, as every appearance on the Major League level has been pretty not wonderful to look at.  He said he would love to make it with the Phillies, but would take his business elsewhere if he had to.  That’s… that’s probably fine at this point.

Erik Kratz, C

He’s a catcher.

So, those four, coupled with anyone else, will enter the foggy labyrinth to determine which of them will

survive the killer jaws of bloodthirsty dogs

make the roster.