Phillies Appreciate Your Attendance and Money, Would Like More

Your money is great.  Look at it, sitting there in that bank account.  Sometimes the numbers go up, but a lot of times they go down.  You’re a passionate, impulsive young person, so that’s understandable.  It’s a tad less understandable in the wake of our nation’s greatest economic apocalypse, but that’s for your parents and/or spouse to care about.

The Phillies see that money, too.  And they like it.  They really like it.  In fact, they want to be more than friends with it.  They want you and your money to move in with them.  But then you leave after nine innings of baseball and your money stays behind.  

“It’s never easy to raise ticket prices,” says Phillies VP of Sales Jon Webner about something his department has done every offseason for the last few years.  So I’m sure its not as big of a tragedy as he makes it sound.

But the Phillies aren’t bad enough to stop go seeing yet, so we’re all still dumping our wheelbarrows of money in front of Citizens Bank Park, then getting drunk in the parking lot, and then going inside to watch sports.  Besides, they only have the fifth highest average ticket price among MLB teams.  There’s plenty of space ahead of them before they’re the worst.

What.

Do you guys not get paid in wheelbarrows.

Seats all over the stadium are being ratcheted up anywhere from one to five dollars, depending on how nice of a section you demand for yourself.  In general tickets, will be $16-$65 in 2012, which is apparently more than they were this year.  I don’t know. I usually get mine through panicked bartering with my eight-year-old neighbor.  Some people complain that I’m only enabling his drinking problem, but hey, I’m part of the longest streak of consecutive sellouts in Phillies history.  Obviously I am immune to the judgement and laws of society.