Michael Cuddyer Wined and Dined by Phillies Brass for Some Reason


Having played his entire career in Minnesota, outfielder/first baseman/third baseman/prayer answerer/Jim Thome‘s favorite guy ever Michael Cuddyer may not be too aware of big city living.

He has ever dined in a regal setting like the sidewalks surrounding Pat’s?  Does he leap in surprise at the unfamiliar roar of the Broad Street line under his feet?  Is it a slow, demoralizing realization when he discovers that there are just too many stray cats to take all of them home?

The Phillies decided to find out when they brought the 32-year-old to our city for the good old fashioned Philadelphia Treatment.  No, that does not mean “he was beaten up outside 30th Street Station.”  Real fresh material.

Bringing in Jim Thome, the world’s nicest lumberjack, was certainly a move the Phillies made.  They now seem prepared to bring in some of his friends to keep him company.  For a 40+ guy who will most likely/hopefully serve as a bat off the bench, this is a large amount of fanfare.  However, I suppose it is important to surround oneself with friends at all times.  Being ludicrously popular, I can relate to every part of that.

So the Phillies trucked in Cuddyer and everybody hung out for a bit this  past week; shaking hands, high-fiving, discussing how cool baseball is, and all of the other things that always happen when baseball executives and players get together.  Cuddyer undoubtedly got a tour of the town and its many amenities, which included trips to the Comcast Center, the Liberty Bell, and sections of the city in which no flash mobs we gathering (Remember those!  Ha ha!  Relevance).

The day finished, and Cuddyer surely pooped, wearing all of his new Philadelphia merchandise and souvenirs, the Phillies sent him back to the midwest, where he could wistfully flip through his photo album labeled “Best Day Ever!” and featuring pictures of he and Ruben Amaro giving thumbs up in Love Park and letting some Occupy protesters know that they smell terrible.

Was it enough to make him want to come here?  Probably.  But this is was merely a facet of Ruben Amaro’s Rubicon of Deception.  Whether he actually wants Cuddyer or was simply trying to make other people jealous is still up in the air, but regardless of what his sinister plan may be, it is certainly in motion.  Now we just get to sit back and watch who gets hurt.