Joe Blanton to Do a Thing For a Second or Two
By Justin Klugh
"“That would be great to come out in the last month and throw really good out of the ‘pen and contribute in the postseason. But at the same, realistically, I haven’t thrown all year.”–Joe Blanton"
That’s Joe Blanton, in a thunderstorm of confidence, imagining one of the greatest seasonal comebacks in the history of baseball… only to allow himself a swift, miserable descent into cold reality.
That certainly doesn’t mean the Great 2011 Joe Blanton Comeback isn’t going to get it’s shot. And tomorrow, that shot begins in Lakewood, New Jersey with the BlueClaws. Will September be Joe Blanton’s Surge to Glory? Will he become the most dominant long relief/spot starter on a team of starting pitchers who try their hardest to make that position obsolete? How do his nails look?
Who knows, but we’re playing more baseball games than the number of days left in the season, so having a spare arm lying around to choke on some innings could be helpful. With that arm being attached to a questionable elbow, the amount of innings may be small. But if Joe could just come out and strike out the side or hit a bases clearing triple and then pull a cheeseburger out of his pocket and nibble at it while Juan Samuel smacks him on the ass–you know, something to make him a memory of the 2011 season–that would be great. And not at all too much to ask of a guy whose rehabilitation the Phillies are literally taking one inning at a time.
These and other questions will not be answered in the one inning of pitching Joe is scheduled to do, so hold onto them, and we’ll ask them later. And maybe come up with a few more joke ones so that this post can be a little funnier. It’s not quite “there” yet, you know? But I have to post it anyway. Because this story is already, like, 30 hours old. Then again, if you’re coming to TBOH for breaking news, you probably aren’t aware of the rest of the internet.
So, yes! TBOH: The only web site on the internet.