Phillies Are Going to Need You to Hand Over that Blood, Please


Blood!  It is required for all living things.

It’s time to acknowledge that irrational fear you have of blood banks being run by vampires is both nonsensical and totally cliche.  We get it, you saw Blade II in high school.  Get over yourself.  [EDITOR’S NOTE: This Philadelphia Phillies baseball blog has now mentioned Blade II twice in a single week. Something to keep in mind when you’re voting for Philadelphia’s Most Valuable Sports Blog]

Anyway, what do you think?  You’re the only one who deserves blood?  The hell is your problem?  That’s clearly untrue.  The Phillies, as a stand-up organization, is aware of blood, and how critical it is for people to stay alive and keep enjoying Phillies baseball.  

Therefore, they have organized this event, where you get to show up and give up some of that blood that keeps you alive.  And now, instead of going directly into a hungry vampire’s mouth, it goes to a worthy cause, such as a sick person in need of healthier blood.  If you need a bigger motivator for helping people than “It won’t also help vampires,” then I don’t know what kind of person you are.  Maybe you’re the vampire.  In which case, you suck.

(Sitcom laugh track)

Preregister here or call this number: 1-800-RED CROSS.  Did you do either of those things?  Keep in mind that you can because your blood is in pretty good shape and you probably take that for granted.  It all goes down August 21 from 6:00 AM to 2:00 PM and there’s a whole mess of crap the Phillies are willing to give you just for handing over that precious, precious blood.

I don’t know what a Shane Victorino “Jersey Style” t-shirt is… I guess it’s a t-shirt that everybody hates and you have to pay money just to walk past it… but it’s all your’s just for participating.

On second thought, they probably are referring to “Baseball jersey” not “New Jersey.”