Brian Schneider Hopefully Successful in Avoiding Insanity


"“I’m here now to stay sane and run around and take batting practice and do whatever they need to see me do. I’m ready to get back out there.”"

Well, you heard him.  Brian is spending most of his time running around and staying sane, like a border collie.  But the important thing isn’t how he’s getting better.  Its that he’s getting better.  The more important of the important things is that the sooner he gets back, the sooner Dane Sardinha can go back to the windowless basement he gets chained in when he’s not being used to take up space/ruin everything.

I never even considered that Brian could come back to us completely insane.  I was just glad he’d be back; I didn’t think we’d have to worry about Ryan Madson furiously shaking him off for five minutes as Brian calls for pitches that do not exist.

It can be easy to miss Schneider’s presence, given the “back up” nature of the back up catcher role.  This notion is cemented through things like his injury updates being crammed into the back-end of other news stories about other, more popular players.  But, like finding five dollars in your pocket, its a pleasant little development that makes everybody feel a little better.

Well, like two dollars.  Probably two.

That’s more money than he was supposed to be worth on June 3, when a mysterious setback pushed Brian’s recovery back to “…square one.

It did little more than increase the childlike sense of excitement he felt for making his inevitable return.

"“I couldn’t wait for the plane to land and get back in this clubhouse and see everybody.”"

Yes, like a little kid watching Disney World get closer from the back seat–and still being unaware that those are people in costumes, not living versions of his favorite characters; a fact that SOME PARENTS DON’T REVEAL UNTIL THEIR CHILDREN HAVE ALREADY HUMILIATED THEMSELVES–Brian is closer to returning to not being in the lineup every day.  But any day Dane Sardinha has a zero % chance of being in the lineup makes wherever the Phillies are a magic kingdom in and of itself.