Series 6-Pack: Jayson Werth Tastes like Banana Snozzberries


Andre From Nationals Inquisition took time off from celebrating Memorial Day to answer my questions, after several harassing phone calls at three in the morning and threats of a restraining order.  What can I say?  Holidays being out the best in me.

1.  How offensive do you find the term ‘Citizens Bank South’?

I like citizens, I’m not a big fan of the banks and I was born in the South so I ultimately don’t find the three words that offensive to me. Put them together and you will be able to find more than enough Washington fans who cringe at the notion, but honestly who really cares? The only people who use the term are from Philadelphia. It isn’t like Philly fans get in a complete uproar and enter into fits of despair when they find out what Nats fans call Citizens Bank North aka “The Toilet.”

2.  We both know Jayson is a private person who prides himself on how private he is.  Then he goes and says “..I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on right here,” in regards to whatever’s wrong with the Nats.  Why does he think he can say nothing and everyone will know what he means?

I really can’t answer that question because my expertise is in baseball, booze and blog, not therapy. But I will say the comments were foolish, exposed the Nationals growing frustration and caused unnecessary frustration amongst the fans, media and team as a whole. I respect and appreciate his passion and his desire to win as most in D.C. do, but there was a better way at handling that frustration than cryptic riddles to the already stressed out and confused Washington media.

3.  The meeting Werth had with Jim Riggleman seemed to indicate Werth is “frustrated” with the Nationals “losing.”  I assumed he was aware of the gradual nature of a franchise turnaround, but here he is in his first year of his awesome deal, already pissed he’s not winning.  22-28 is far from the worst season the Nats have ever had, too.  My point is, do you sense any self-entitlement in his attitude?  Not that I’m trying to stir up trouble or discontent out of bitterness, even if it looks and seems like that is exactly what I’m doing.

I think Werth is learning a valuable lesson. I think Nats GM Mike Rizzo sold him hard (and paid him hard) into believing his arrival in D.C. would signal a huge and instant turnaround that would make the players on the team competitive, want to win, and cause players to flock to Washington in droves: all because of him. Werth is not stupid, but I think he actually bought into it all, at least partially and now is learning it is not as promised. It is like he went through a fast food joint drive-thru, ordered no mayonnaise on his burger, gets halfway home and realizes mayo is seeping through the bag and onto his leather seats.

4. Let’s switch topics.  How much does it mean to the fans that Pudge is willing to live out his remaining years in Washington?

I hear some fans want him to become a coach or work with the Washington organization in some capacity when he retires, but I doubt that is going to happen. I’d be surprised. It has been fun seeing a guy you know is going to the Hall of Fame eventually wear your uniform and play the game better than most people expected. He has a lot of class, carries himself well and has been invaluable in teaching Wilson Ramos the position. The only disappointing thing about his tenure here was his bobblehead. Looks nothing like him. It lacks his jowls– and yes, Pudge has jowls. Like the Predator.

5.  Nats prospect Ryan Tatusko recently turned to blogging to help him get out of an early season pitching funk.  I’ve never tried to play professional baseball, but I’ve blogged a lot.  Should I try to pitch for the Harrisburg Senators, under the logic that all the blogging I’ve done has stored up a massive vault of pitching talent within me?

Most definitely. Yes. Then you could go pitch in a Senators game and after the game come back and blog about how you did. Then the next day you’ll be on the clubhouse computer and get pissed at what you wrote about yourself. Later, after that night’s game, you’ll punch yourself in the face when you come up to yourself to ask yourself a question about “Why you looked so angry on the mound tonight?” Then you’ll go home and blog about what a jerk you are for hitting a fan and post pictures of the facial devastation you got at the hands of yourself. Do we feel like we are sitting in a bathtub with Donald Sutherland yet? By the way, the Ryan Tatusko blog is great.

6.  In case that last question made no sense, here’s an extra analytical one: Does anybody like those extra-Patriotic uniforms the Nats where with the red white and blue “DC” emblem?

Very few people like those patriotic jerseys so thank God they only wear them on some holidays, the Fourth of July and military appreciation nights. Personally, I think they look too Willy Wonka and I say that because once, when I was in the team store, I went up to one on the rack and licked it. It tasted like snozzberries. If you are coming into town for a game sometime, I highly suggest you try it yourself. I also recommend the Jayson Werth jersey. Tastes like banana.