The Phillies and their wives put out that cookbook a few months ago, and we all wrote about it and made jokes about it and had our hokey little blogger fun. I hope we’re proud of ourselves. It was called “From Our Home to Yours, a Collection of Phillies Recipes,” and it didn’t include a single “F”/”PH” pun in the title so many of us were ready to consider it a complete failure.
And also, like many of us, have never cracked it open. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen it. If I did, it was probably just to check out somebody’s wife. I’m terrible.
The point is, some people saw the book and didn’t immediately think, “Hey, I could ogle a married woman if I open that.” Some of those people work at the Greshville Inn, where they will be taking a few recipes from the book and turning them into what they were always meant to be: Food.
Boyertown, one of those places you see on freeway exit signs but never actually get on the ramp, is home to the Greshville Inn. “The Greshville Inn offers the largest selection of American home cooked cuisine to customers in the greater Boyertown, PA area,” their web site reports, and if that means something to you, then congratulations.
For the rest of us, it means there is an inn standing somewhere in Pennsylvania that serves food and isn’t haunted. Those are two pretty exquisite qualities for a business in central PA, so that alone should be worth a story. However, while everybody sits on their couches during Phillies games, eating two-day old pizza with–what is that, cat hair? Gross–and wondering how their lives ended up this way, the kitchen staff at the Greshville Inn is taking a more pro-active stance on their regular season diets.
For the rest of the month, three dishes from the Phillies cookbook have been selected to appear on the Greshville Inn menu, including Carlos Ruiz’s Grilled Sea Bass with Mango Salsa, which the head chef describes as “good.” Is this the start of a restaurant that serves only Phillies-related food items?
- Steak of Phanatic Meat–$24.95
- Charlie Manuel’s Traditional West Virginian Elk Burger, served with a side of smaller Elk Burgers (killed this morning by Cliff Lee)–$35.99
- Kyle Kendrick’s Failure Sandwich (Forcibly crammed down each patron’s throat upon Kyle’s entry into a Phillies game) (Inedible)–$2.45 million
- Chooch’s Ice Cream Sundae (Brings happiness to all who eat it)–$1.00
- Roy Oswalt’s Freshly Bulldozed Wilderness Sampler (Contains 17 species killed on Roy’s own property)–$17.99
- The Heart of Mr. Met (Consumed daily by all customers in front of sobbing Mets fans who are imprisoned in our basement labyrinth)–Free to all patrons!!!
So if you can get out to Boyertown without a mysterious apparition appearing in front of your car in the dead of night, causing you to crash into a tree and awaken to a paramedic telling the story of the little girl that died on these roads exactly 100 years ago last night, then please. Order the sea bass.