Jesse Biddle Already Correctly Terrified of Fans


Phils first round draft pick Jesse Biddle will be one of those rare Phillies who has been in crowds hurling verbal abuse at players as a fan, but will now, as a player,  be the recipient of any deemed appropriate by us.

"“I remember going to games at the Vet and being a little scared of the fans.”—Jesse Biddle"

Well of course you were scared of them.  I used to smuggle in glass bottles full of angry bees to hurl at opposing players, and the last time I was there, I was 12.  We were scared of each other at the Vet.  But that gaping hole in the world from which demons and skeletons crawled is gone now, making room for family friendly, squeaky clean, well behaved Citizens Bank Park.   So don’t be afraid, Jesse.  We’re not going to hurt you.  But I can totally understand why you wouldn’t believe me when I say that.

Jesse says he was also there when we won the World Series in 2008, and Philadelphia was at its most joyful.  And then violent and angry, for some reason… but you know how these things go.

It’s all here in this article.  You should read it.  At the end there’s a brief interview with a man named “Mike Fluck,” and I couldn’t help but point out how close to “fuck” that is to my friend, through my tears of laughter.  Tears.