Brian from Chris Sabos’ Goggles Does Not Care About Your Feelings

As the NLDS leans ever closer to us, the guest blogging mayhem continues, today with Brian from Chris Sabos’ Goggles, another Reds blog I urge you to consider. I’d just like to throw some notes in here before you read on.

• I think the reason I don’t like Skyline Chili more than cheesesteaks is because I don’t know what the hell Skyline Chili is.
• A Phillies WIN results in a MUCH more terrifying riot than a Phillies LOSS.
• Cardinals fans have no business claiming the Cardinals don’t suck.  Did they not watch Cardinals baseball this year?  It sucked.
• We are WAY better known for Pukemon than the J.D. Drew-battery thing these days.
  
• Sorry about the “Pirates don’t exist” comment, Tom.
  

Without further ado, the illustrious Brian and his Cincinnati Reds.

In the weeks leading up to the Reds division title St. Louis Cardinals fans were complaining (!!) that Reds fans weren’t classy and that they should “act like they’ve been there before.”

The fact is most of those classless fans acting like they’ve never been there before actually hadn’t been there before. It’s quite possible that some of these fans weren’t even alive the last time the Reds were “there before.”

Were the cries of “Cardinals suck! Cardinals suck!” heard at Great American Ball Park after taking a seven-game lead in the division uncalled for? Of course not! The Cardinals are a bunch of whiny bitches and they deserve all the misfortune –served with a side of toasted ravioli – they get.

But I’m not here to talk about the Cardinals. I’m here to discuss the National League Division Series with as little class and tact as possible – and I have been here before (the Reds have won three World Series in my lifetime).

I was born in Philadelphia, and while I was still wet behind the years when I moved away from the City of M. Night Shyamalan Movies, I always considered the Phillies my (distant) second favorite baseball team behind the Reds.

Needless to say, there’s no question that I’m rooting for the Reds in this series, and despite my tempered enthusiasm for the Phillies, I will gladly reduce them to the levels of the Cubs or Cardinals should they be lucky enough to knock the Reds out of the playoffs.

(I hate the Cubs and Cardinals.)

Now, I’m not going to be one of those desperate people who compare the underdog 2010 Cincinnati Reds to the underdog 1990 World Champion Cincinnati Reds, but allow me to compare the underdog 2010 Cincinnati Reds to the underdog 1990 World Champion Cincinnati Reds.

In 1990 the Reds beat a team from Pennsylvania in the League Championship Series. That team was the Pittsburgh Pirates, and while that organization is no longer in existence, they were pretty good back in 1990 (does the name Sid Bream ring a bell?).

In 2010 the Reds will play a team from Pennsylvania in the National League Division Series. This time it’s the Philadelphia Phillies – a team best known for their charming fans’ love of J.D. Drew and throwing batteries.

The 1990 Reds beat the Pirates 4-2 to advance to the World Series.

Barring a sudden rule-change by Major League Baseball it will be impossible for the 2010 Reds to win four games in the opening series. Even if they did they wouldn’t advance to the World Series, but that’s neither here nor there.

The underdog 1990 Reds went on to play the mighty Oakland Athletics in the World Series, featuring BALCO stock-holders Mark McGwire and José Conseco. The A’s were heavy favorites to win the World Series.

The Philadelphia Phillies are heavy favorites to beat the underdog 2010 Cincinnati Reds.  (Can you imagine the riots in Philly if they lose to the underdog 2010 Reds? It will be awesome!”)

Did I mention that the underdog 1990 Cincinnati Reds swept the heavy-favorite Oakland A’s? You should’ve seen the look on the faces of McGwire, Conseco, Ricky Henderson, Tony LaRussa (Fun Fact: He was complaining), et al. It was really quite funny.

I imagine it will be similar to the look on Halladay, Oswalt, and Hamels’ faces when their team is eliminated from the postseason by the underdog 2010 Cincinnati Reds.

GO REDS!

By the way, Skyline Chili is infinitely better than your cheesesteaks. You know it be true.