What Can Brown Do For You? Get Out.


What’s that, Amtrak?  You want to spend $52 billion dollars to decerase travel time between Boston and New York by 20 minutes in the year 2030?

"Amtrak, on the other hand, has a less ambitious view of the future for the nation’s busiest rail corridor. Its new master plan calls for spending $52 billion by 2030 to cut travel time by about 20 minutes between New York and Washington and between New York and Boston. It envisions reducing travel time between New York and Philadelphia by four minutes."

You mean Mets fans can get here four minutes faster?!  In two decades?!  For under $60 billion?  You dogs, you.  This is joyous news.

Anyway, here’s some shit.

Chase Utley is okay to hit the batting cages, finally.  They’ve been sliding us video footage of him working out with one hand behind his back, fielding grounders and running the bases, so that we don’t squawk, keel over, and die from Chase withdrawal.  But sooner or later, that’s just not going to be enough, and we will undoubtedly be storming the Utley Compound with pitchforks and torches, demanding the balls-deep second baseman with the cleats on his soul and the roguish smile play some baseball.

So, to avoid that unpleasant little scenario better suited for an episode of “Intervention,” it’s good to know that he’s in the batting cages, doing what he does best.  Well, second best, behind saving puppies and kittens from cruelty with his white-hot wife/sidekick.

Shane Victorino strikes me as less of a “puppies and kittens” kind of guy, and more of a “Let’s hunt people for sport in the woods with only knives” sort of guy.  The Flyin’ Hawaiian is about to play in two more rehab games with the Ironpigs, and then hopefully flips the activation switch Friday to return to the lineup.

Then again, this seemingly means Domonic Brown will be quietly escorted out the back door and absorb the rest of the summer from Lehigh Valley, obviously waiting in the wings for the next big Phillies Outfielder disaster to occur.  Which is a shame, because sure, he hasn’t been picture perfect, who the hell has?  He had an RBI double in his first at bat, he just socked his first of many four-baggers; its a shame, but its probably going to happen.

This puts a bit of pressure on Victorino, who, if he returns with a taste of underperformance on his breath, will be a tough drink to swill; especially if Brown returns to Lehigh Valley to finish the season with a maelstrom of offense.

We’ll see.  For now let’s just hope RoyO manhandles the Dodgers.

"A class of graduate students at the University of Pennsylvania has created a plan to rebuild the Northeast Corridor as a true high-speed rail line that would transport passengers from Philadelphia to New York City in 37 minutes."

Oh, Penn students!  I guess you can come up with anything in the safety of your white picketed frat houses.  When that thing derails into a crowded highway during rush hour, why don’t you guys race to see who can get their dad’s lawyer on speed dial the fastest.