Charlie Manuel Imagines World Where Phillies Always Win


This is the shit legends are made of.

Not our legend, mind you, but the legends in some other city, on some other team.  Because its not like this is just a series of Phillies losses.  This is the door opening wider and wider for someone else’s 2010 commemorative DVD to include the phrase “…the Phillies’ collapse allowed for…” and I know I work hard to hide my emotions but it is SLOWLY CHEWING AWAY AT MY SOUL LIKE A HORSE.

Mets 3, Phillies 0

Okay, where to begin?  Oh, yeah, I wanted to start with the three inning ending double plays. First, when you’re the guy in the bar screaming and biting your fist while everyone else is trying to hear the bingo announcer, it is hard to make friends, even if you tell them you write a Phillies blog.  Secondly, sweet jesus.

Mike Pelfrey’s sinker is not a physics problem.  I know this because the last time we saw him we 10-runned him into the ground.  And yet, that didn’t stop the lineup from A.  missing or B.  bouncing the ball to an infielder like its tee ball practice, except they’re not the coach’s son so they don’t get extra turns.  He hogtied us into just five singles, and boy howdy, eyou better believe each and every one of them were ruined like two week old tomatoes.

Placido, Jayson, and Wilson Valdez were all guilty of initiating DP’s, and while nobody’s expecting a raucous display of power or skill from Valdez, these other two guys are starters who were part of the beat down laid on Pelfrey not too long ago. What were they not seeing last night that they saw so easily in April?

The team’s reactions to its third straight shut out loss ranged everywhere from panicked reassurance:

"“You know it’s not going to be like that all year.”  –Placido Polanco"

To denial:

"“We’re still in first place.”   –Jayson Werth"

To the magic of wish-making:

"“If I could fix it, we’d never lose.”  –Charlie Manuel"

I mean, we saw Raul Ibanez try to steal a base tonight, and he was, of course, easily thrown out.  It was like a squid robbing a convenience store and then being surprised that he was caught within 20 feet of the place.  Just ridiculous.

And, just because I feel obligated to mention it, we got another acceptable performance from a starter, made to look much, much worse by the fact that his run support was totally absent.

So, that’s the Mets series.  We didn’t score a single run.  Now the Marlins, another team who could use a few wins from us to move up in the standings, are going to be trying to keep the record alive.  Anybody else want a turn?  Hmm?  BRaves?  Nationals?  Come on, the door’s open!  Oh, no it isn’t.  It’s closed, so that Charlie can have a restrained,  quiet talk with his team.

Personally, I would have gone the “screaming” route, but then again, I’ve always seen the value in hiding my emotions pretty well.