“Paint the Town Red” Opens; I Fail at Journalism


The “Paint the Town Red” campaign involves 20 Phillie Phanatic statues being dropped all over Philadelphia, and with the hilarious and probably child-populated opening ceremony today, I thought it was the perfect chance to go out and cover something for this site. You know.  Like a journalist.

I got about 20 blocks before I realized A.) I was going in the wrong direction B.)  It was now raining C.)  Oh, that’s right, I have to work today.

They were having it at 12pm on a Monday, so chances were, they weren’t expecting a lot of grown men to show up alone, so I would have wound up as the source of many confused looks and suspicious glares, especially when I brought my camera out.  But the Phanatic was going to be there, and I had some hard-hitting questions to drive into his 80-pound skull. Fortunately, I managed to track him down.

TBOH:  With names like Heyward, McClouth, Glaus, Hansen, and Jurrgens, along with Chipper Jones and Bobby Cox holding their own careers hostage via retirement, how much more ferocious will the NL East race be in 2010?

Phanatic:  *Silent stare*

TBOH:  *Writing down notes* I see.  And what is your take on the still open fifth starter’s role?

Phanatic:  *Waves hands in air, sticks out tongue*

TBOH:  *Clapping* Ha ha ha ha!

So, in the coming weeks, while you’re walking the streets of Philadelphia at night, and you feel the googly-eyed stare of a six foot monster on your back, don’t scream!  This time, it doesn’t want to rape you.