Philadelphia Sports Fans: 40+ Years of Being Total A-Holes
By Justin Klugh
TBOH made it to the second round of The Phield’s Phillies blog bracket! Next opponent? Phillies Nation. Ever heard of it? Yeah. So has everyone else. Anyways, we’re going to celebrate the victory by complaining about something completely unrelated.
Philly Weekly, one of two loud-voiced newspapers aimed at those a bit more open-minded about their journalism that sets itself apart by leaning to the left and saying “fuck” sometimes, ran a cover story this week about Philadelphia sports fans.
It’s familiar territory, but I was willing to give it some eyes because it was coming from a Philadelphia based newspaper, and I like Philly Weekly, so chances are it wouldn’t resort to the same stereotypical backwash we’ve had spat in our cereal every other time some asshole takes it upon himself to say “Hey, aren’t Philly fans just a bunch of heavy-breathing, blue collar dipshits with their hairy knuckles wrapped around the nearest sock full of batteries?! Haw, haw!”
Of course we’re pissed off and rude and yeah, you know, a little drunk most of the time; and whatever, they’re only AAA’s. That’s like the smallest, least painful battery.
It’s fair game. We know. I just assumed we wouldn’t have to be privy to the same cliched crap Jay Mariotti (who couldn’t even get six words into his take on Philly fans before leaning on the go-to “snowball/Santa” crutch) is comfortable barfing on his readers. The paper’s got “Philly” in the title, so it might be a safe bet.
Well, we got to the third paragraph before the reference to the snowball/ Santa thing, so I guess I should be grateful. And the cheering/Michael Irvin’s injury thing. And the J.D. Drew/battery thing.
Come on, guys. It’s not insulting. It’s just lazy.
We have done plenty of awful things since then. I was standing in line at Tony Luke’s in CBP once when security chased down a 45-50 year old guy who’d been making fun a guy’s braces at the end of the line. And the guy was no more than 12. And he was with his mother. Who was crying. Kid was probably traumatized for life.
Last year there were Penguins fans being literally hunted like animals in the Wachovia Center.
And let’s not forget this guy, who only needed a three-second window to realize he had the chance to dump an entire beer on a Mets fan’s head just because he had his back to him. Right in front of a security guard. Who he then shoved. Keep in mind, I don’t really follow the NBA and I hate the Eagles. So I’m half-objective to the whole “Philly sports fans” thing.
But you want to bring up the Santa thing from over 40 years ago? Somebody in the PW story even mentions, “… there has to be a shelf life for the story about throwing snowballs at Santa.” This rant isn’t even aimed at Philly Weekly specifically, as they do a good job of explaining the current temperament of the city’s fans amidst the background of a struggling metropolis. But even they couldn’t resist the almighty lead-in of the fans who attacked the spirit of Christmas.
Any evidence of our rage in contemporary times is just a Youtube search away. So please, you don’t have to turn to just our history to define our attitude. If impassioned, obnoxious anger is what defines Philly sports fans, and it is, then to act like we don’t do stuff like that anymore is a little insulting; it’s saying we’re not real fans anymore.
It’s still here, alive and well and festering and shitty. It’s a recession, do you think people are in a better mood?