“That was my Chinese Bandit lineup,” Charlie Manuel said.
— Matt Gelb (@magelb) August 8, 2013
Look at these Phillies, scoring runs [For the series: 23-14. First and last games: 21-9].
The rookies ran wild, with Cody Asche, Darin Ruf, and something called John McDonald all homered in a game that would have been a real thrill had the Phillies been in a playoff race.
But no matter. If the young folk want to do things like go 3-for-5 with 2 RBI and a triple short of the cycle [Asche], or 2-for-4 with a home run [Ruf] or a completely unnecessary home run [McDonald], then who are we to dispute them, or in 38-year-old McDonald’s case, call him ‘young.’
From the second to the fourth inning, the Phillies refused to stop scoring, leading to a slightly outraged Cole Hamels to brood in the dugout with his 2-1 loss still fresh under his gorgeous hair. And it wasn’t only the youthful spitfires – John Mayberry was RBI singling. Michael Martinez was RBI singling. Carlos Ruiz was RBI bunt singling. Dom Brown was RBI singling. Chase Utley was deciding to be a Phillie forever, then RBI doubling. By the time McDonald homered in the eighth, there had already been 10 runs scored by the Phillies offense and 22 minute rain delay.
So that kept Ethan Martin off the field for an absurd amount of time, and it became apparent in the fifth when he gave up a home run to not-Phillie Nate Schierholtz and then a couple of walks. He got yanked, after four hits, four K’s, three walks, and one earned run, giving way to Zach Miner, Cesar Jimenez, and Raul Valdes, also known as the Phillies bullpen A-Squad, who allowed two hits and zero runs.
The Cubs looked like human garbage. Just lifeless out there. It’s the aspect of the game you like to ignore to further compliment our young starters, but hey, what can you did. Jeff Samardzija lasted just over three innings, 11 hits, and nine earned runs, backed by a defense that looked about as lively as Chase Utley in his press conference after the game.
So that’s a second half series win, and now it’s off the D.C. to kind of give the Nationals sad smirks from across the diamond. Hey, maybe there will be a scrappy dust-up!