Have you looked at that lineup card tonight?
Delmon Young is batting clean up, Jimmy Rollins leading off. Not too long ago we had a white hot Ben Revere at the top and a monstrous Dom Brown in there. That was a team I could get behind. And make nagging comments about how they make me feel.
This one has less of a “gang of rough and tumble fellas who could cause some trouble, I tell ya” vibe going, and more of an amorphous… stupid… thing. Some kind of awful ’90s team, pieced together with crap and shoved out into the spotlight, barely self-aware enough to know what to do.
So, you know, your Phillies spirits have to be in the stratosphere by now. Which makes this the perfect time to tell you
— Jayson Stark (@jaysonst) July 24, 2013
This can’t just be what it looks like it is; Ruben is seeing what the Phillies are and just nodding and being like, “Oh, yeah. Definitely. Definitely all in with this crew.”
This has to be a long con of some kind, otherwise, we’re actually going to watch some deformed baseball monster try to sneak into the dance. And it’s probably just going to end with a lot of screaming.