May 27, 2012; Cincinnati, OH, USA; Colorado Rockies starting pitcher Jamie Moyer (50) pitches during the second inning against the Cincinnati Reds at Great American Ball Park. Mandatory Credit: Frank Victores-USA TODAY Sports

Jamie Moyer Announces Availability After Successfully Throwing Out Ceremonial First Pitch

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Anyone who doesn’t know how old Jamie Moyer is doesn’t follow baseball.

Jamie’s is the most known-about age in professional sports.  It’s 50.  He’s old for a baseball player.  That’s why it is assumed he is not one anymore.  Recently, the Mariners attempted to waft Jamie into retirement by having him to a distinctly retired-person thing: throw out the first pitch at a game.

It must have been awkward when he showed up in a full Mariners uniform, not really concerned that the paper work hadn’t made it over to his agent’s office yet, just really excited to have another shot to play in a real game.  Someone may have had to look a 50-year-old man in high socks in the face and tell him he wasn’t going to play today.

Regardless, Jamie was all smiles, went out there, and hucked a 23 mph heater to Dan Wilson.  Then he did the most ‘Jamie Moyer’ thing ever and claimed he hadn’t given up on playing professional baseball.

“I haven’t closed that door yet.  I don’t know when I would make a decision. I really haven’t put a lot of thought into it. I’m enjoying my time at home at this point.”

Jamie Moyer

Jamie sounds happy without baseball; citing his new puppy, children, and bountiful lettuce garden as reasons to stay out of the game. Maybe he’s just a guy who doesn’t like to be told what he can’t do.  Coyly leaving the option open to return from informal retirement is a healthier way to deal with such instincts then habitual self-flagellation.

Could the Phillies use him?  No.  Unlike Roy Oswalt, it is not even worth considering (neither is a good idea).  If Ruben Amaro were to seriously send Jamie Moyer a serious offer to start a serious, actual, serious baseball game in a Phillies uniform, then he would be doing nothing more than confirming that the season was a joke and even upper management considered it a demented sideshow bent solely on draining whatever money and patience people have left.

No, it’s better as Phillies fans to know that he’s doing well and if he does come back, we’ll get to shake our heads from over here and go, “Oh, Jamie,” then return to making good use of the nearest chemical dependency as Roy Halladay implodes.

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