Delmon Young Only Thing Missing from Ruben Amaro’s Awesome Plan

We left the offseason knowing Ruben Amaro was in the beginning stages of a plan.

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“Vance Worley and Trevor May for Ben Revere!  Whoa!  But I guess that’s necessary,” we all said.

Then:

“Michael Young!  Didn’t his previous team think he couldn’t play second base?  And we want him to play third?  Seems sketchy!”

Then:

“Mike Adams, now there’s a solid signing.  That addresses one of our weak points, though he is recovering from that same issue that caused Chris Carpenter to retire.  Huh.”

Then:

“Delmon Young will be on this team?  On purpose?  Like he didn’t just follow a sandwich onto the bus?”

And that’s when many of us began to wonder if Ruben Amaro was even real; if perhaps he only existed in pictures and news articles and press conferences, being portrayed by a cast of actors all with the same chiseled jaw and cocky blinks.

Well, he is real, and his plan, as he told us, was to have Delmon Young be the every day right fielder.  It’s a stupid plan; it just is, and there’s no getting around that.  You can scoot around it with the fact that we only paid $750,000 for him, but he’s got these weight incentives in his contract, and he’s still got the microfractured right ankle to keep him off the field.  He’s just a generally unathletic, unmotivated, unpleasant person.

And his rehab’s moving right along!

Young said he “really doesn’t know” when he’ll be ready to play, describing a situation where he tests his ankle daily, and decides whether to sit back down or not based on how it feels.

The Phillies wanted him to get in a preseason game before they fold up the whole kaboodle and truck back up north, but that doesn’t seem likely, and even if it is, I mean honestly, how excited could you possibly be to watch this guy play in the outfield.