Roy Halladay Throws Surprisingly Non-Disastrous Bullpen Session

In what has been described as a “typical bullpen session,” at least visually, but was actually a 39-pitch cataclysm on which the fate of an entire city hangs in the balance, Roy Halladay attempted to prove his statement that he was “fine” was more than just words.

He certainly threw pitches, and he certainly survived them, but as far as Roy Halladay pitching like a massively effective #1 starter goes, only time and not Rich Dubee will tell.  This situation has all the makings of a classic Philadelphia “hurt feelings” soap opera, except for the involvement of Roy Halladay:

• An injured star
• Secrets and lies
• Ambiguous statements

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

And with the Philadelphia sportscape in such spectacular shape, fan emotionality is at an all-time freakish.  The Phillies are the only ones who can prevent the city skyline from collapsing like the third or fourth scene of a Roland Emmerich film, just after Nicolas Cage tells his kids he’ll always be there for him while dropping them off at his ex-wife’s house and glowering at Reginald, her new husband. (Who dies ten scenes later when the City Hall William Penn statue splatters him on the parkway after he has abandoned the family in a gridlocked mini van while trying to escape).

First of all, it will be a while before anybody believes anything Rich Dubee says every again.  Like, at least five or six days.  Secondly, why are they trying so hard to convince us everything is fine?  We’ve seen enough, between last year and his last spring start to notice that something is wrong, or at the very least, wronger than before.

If this is really all about maintaining interest with ticket sales, then wow, that’s a pretty widespread conspiracy, though I doubt Doc would allow himself to be anybody’s mouthpiece.  They could be taking advantage of Doc’s possible passion-fueled dementia, in which he really does think he’s fine just because not playing baseball isn’t an option.

It will all come to a head Sunday, when Doc is supposed to take everything he learned in 39 pitches yesterday and turn it into an empowering, confidence-building start against the Orioles.  Or, it could be the most detrimental, gutting experience you’ve seen on your television since Nicolas Cage had to leave the family’s golden retriever behind because lava was pouring too fast down South Street.

No, that’s too sad.  The dog lives.

The dog lives.