Phillies “aggressively pursuing” Giancarlo Stanton Probably Just Because They’re in the Neighborhood

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The Phillies have no legitimate trade chips, if their proposed trading partner is a team trying to avoid big contracts. Therefore, their rumored “aggressive pursuit” of Giancarlo Stanton seems appropriately out of the blue and inappropriately nonsensical. But, here it is, rumored up and everything.

WIP: Phillies aggressively in pursuit of Marlins OF Giancarlo Stanton. #cbsphilly

— Chris May (@chrismayphilly) February 19, 2013

SECOND UPDATE:

STANTON IS NEVER COMING TO THE PHILLIES AND SANTA ISN’T REAL ITS YOUR PARENTS.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

— loctastic (@loctastic) February 19, 2013

UPDATE:

Holy Crap! On bit.ly/VtQvrC!twitpic.com/c55ush — ryan petzar (@petzrawr) February 19, 2013

So, with this as ludicrous as it is, we turn to Twitter for the responses this news deserves. Oh, also, they’re opening a Federal Donuts at Citizens Bank Park.

Lots of people dismissing the Giancarlo Stanton rumors. But remember: Miami Marlins. Miami. Marlins. They would trade him for some cool pogs — Bill Baer (@CrashburnAlley) February 19, 2013

what if phillies ownership just decided the investment in stanton would be worth it in the cable negotiations.Dom Brown + $50 mil? enough? — loctastic (@loctastic) February 19, 2013

I prefer State Donuts as the framers of the Constitution intended. Federal Donuts are an abomination. — ryan petzar (@petzrawr) February 19, 2013

I’m greatly amused & heartened that news about donuts has distracted PhilliesTwitter from that Stanton “report.” — The Good Phight (@TheGoodPhight) February 19, 2013