Game Day Six-Pack: “The Rockies have already started their apology tour.”

It’s Phils-Rockies time, that non-magical, non-interesting time of year in which we both sit back and wonder where it all went wrong or how it might somehow, minutely, desperately, go right.  David Martin (@RockiesReview) of Rockies Review is here to welcome us to Denver and let us know that everything is going to be all right, because eventually, all questions are answered.  Sometimes that answer is “NOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

EXTRA! EXTRA! MILE-HIGH SCANDAL! Why must the Rockies put our nation’s children in the horrible path of Jason Biggs’ twisted Twitter account by holding a Nickelodeon Day on September 23?! I don’t fully understand this scandal, but you better believe I am outraged by it!

Doesn’t it seem weird that a Major League Baseball team would have a Nickelodeon Day anyway? At this point, the Rockies are desperate to give a reason for the fans to come out to the ballpark, so they certainly aren’t going to cancel the only compelling reason for a kid to come to the ballpark this late in the season.

Both these teams will at best serve as spoilers in the final month of the season. What possible good can come from turning two spoilers on each other at this point, especially with both playing reasonably sort of okay as of late?

It would seem that the schedule makers would have been better served to have non-contending teams only playing fellow non-contenders. However, life doesn’t seem fair, as Rockies and Phillies fans have seen in a terrible 2012. Unfortunately for the fans, they will be paying Major League prices for Minor League games. Maybe next year.

Unlike the Rockies, four of the Rockies Minor League affiliates have made their respective playoffs. What are their undeveloped younglings doing that their MLB-quality players are not? Also–is having Jason Giambi and Troy Tulowitzki “rehab” with the Tulsa Drillers during their post season run some sort of moral gray area?

The good news for the Rockies is that their minor leaguers have had some great seasons. Fans are hoping that it is a sign that the wave of bad drafts and failed prospects is coming to an end and that the franchise will once again reap the benefits of seeing young player after young player come up and make an impact at the big league level.

The Rockies are clearly taking advantage of the system, making sure their minor league teams find their way to the postseason to gain some valuable late-season experience. In fact, the rules are so loose that the Drillers will have Troy Tulowitzki at shortstop in their playoff games as he continues his rehab.

Speaking of Jason Giambi, how does Jason Giambi fit into the Rockies future plans? What are the Rockies future plans? How much longer is Jason Giambi’s future? Do his old bones creak out sage wisdom for a young team learning on the fly?

The Rockies defy conventional logic in many of the things that they do. Jason Giambi isn’t at the top of the list, although he is close. Giambi wasn’t a fit in 2011, let alone 2012. He was sold as a great guy for the clubhouse, but the problem is, if the talent isn’t good enough to win, the attitude in the clubhouse really doesn’t matter.

Giambi would be a good fit for an American League team. He simply doesn’t fit in on a National League team. He is terrible at first base and at this point in his career he isn’t going to get better. I believe that he has helped some of the young players with their approach at the plate, but was it worth a valuable spot on the 25-man roster?

As far as the future, I don’t see this being his swan song. He can still be a valuable bat. He never gives away at-bats and has as good of an eye as anybody in the game. Rockies fans love him, but most of them hope to cheer for him from afar in 2013.

Astros GM Jeff Luhnow recently sent out a letter to season ticket holders, admitting to a highly frustrating season, providing reasons, and explaining plans for the future to make Houston a winning franchise. Will the Rockies fans receive a similar letter? Do you want one? Will it arrive via elegant letterhead or pissed in the snow outside Coors Field?

The Rockies have already started their apology tour.

Dick Monfort has sent out two emails to season ticket holders, as well as holding a season ticket holder conference call where questions could be asked directly to Monfort and general manager Dan O’Dowd. I believe that they know that the situation is dire, but I don’t think they realize how many fans are extremely upset about the way this season has gone.

This team wasn’t expected to compete for the World Series, but they were expected to be closer to a contender than battling for the second pick in next year’s draft. The Rockies pair-pitching theory has gone over like a lead balloon with fans. It seems like an excuse from a front office that has never been very good at proving that they were all that committed to winning.

Last night, Mike Minor was no-hitting the Rockies through seven until Jordan Pachecho–he of the 14 game hitting streak–snapped it in half. What sort of affect would a no-hitter have had on a struggling Colorado lineup? A dagger in their hearts? Or a cold slap on a numb surface?

I would have to say that it would hit more like a cold slap to a numb surface. The Rockies are done. They know it and while they have been playing better, the guys playing are looking for a job next year. Getting no-hit this year would almost be more fitting than anything. Almost everything else that could go wrong has gone wrong, so it would make sense that a no-hitter would be thrown into the mix.