Cole Hamels Recognized as Outstanding NL Player of the Week with Terrific Hair

Apparently all it takes to be National League Player of the Week is a couple of stellar pitching performances in which you do not allow the other team to score even a hint of a run.

Cole Hamels got the honor, as he met the criteria of pitching twice in the same week and also being awesome.  His stats for the week included: 18 IP, 2 CGSO, 12 hits, zero runs, 11 K’s, and one BB.  Why, he even went 1-for-6 at the plate with a walk.  And to make matters better, he’s got that flowing head of hair, and a contract that

imprisons

keeps him in Philadelphia for six more years!  There couldn’t be better Philadelphia baseball news if we were headed for the post season!

He’s been the ace-iest ace on the Phillies pitching staff this season, improving to 14-6 in his last start in which he did continue his scoreless streak to 23 innings before actually allowing runs.  And why shouldn’t we take any opportunity they give us to celebrate him?  Who else is going to step up?  You?  You’re terrible.

No, that’s why we have Cole… so we don’t need to rely on you…

**Gentle strokes picture of Cole Hamels while distant smile forms**