Phillies Avoid the Sweep, But Not Like You Think: Collapse in Extras, 5-3

You know, if Jonathan Papelbon isn’t going to be the brick wall of pitching that we are paying $50 million for then why are we even going to I don’t know man I don’t even think I had a scheduled end to that thought.

It’s just… boy.  A sweep really would have been nice.

Cliff Lee and Clayton Kershaw faced off very respectfully for a pitchers’ duel that was going pretty well until John Mayberry flailed his glove at what looked like a catchable home run ball, had he jumped and used any of his, like, eight foot frame to stop it.  But hey, whatever.  I’m sure as Cliff watched that ball shat over the fence he didn’t feel any sort of sharp, growing pain in his head.

"“Not once this year have I said anything about being frustrated.  I can only control what I can control, and that’s to make pitches, get as deep into the game as I can and try to give the team a chance to win. I would have loved to win this game, but it’s over now and there’s nothing you can do about it.”—Cliff Lee"

Ha ha, see, he’s fine!  Nobody has any regrets about anything at all, ever.  So shut the hell up, please.

At 1-0 it stayed for a while, until the fourth, when Shane singled and stole second, and Chooch of all Chooches stepped in and methodically brought him home, as if he was the only one who could have.  Shane didn’t even bother to slide, and in fact sort of danced out of the way of A.J. Ellis’ tag in a way that the announcers were charitable enough to say was on purpose and totally strategic.

And then, for a long time, nothing happened.  Regulation came and went, and the next thing we knew, it was the top of the 10th, and Hunter Pence was saving everyone again with a bases loaded single that scored Jimmy and Chase.  With Papelbon on his way, the sweep seemed more in hand than ever.

Which, of course, meant that Paps would implode and the Dodgers would score twice to tie the game, and force us to sit through an infuriating 11th inning, an even more infuriating top of the 12th inning, and a bottom of the 12th inning in which Matt Kemp came up and bashed a two-run walkoff dinger right through Jake Diekman’s feelings.

When It All Went Wrong

I’m gonna say in the 12th when Shane led off with a single and then Shane stole second base and then Chase was intentionally walked and there were two runners on with our best hitter up and no outs and yet still there was a “0” to hang on the wall come inning’s end.

Most Attractive Play

J-Roll’s soft hands and hot chuck to get the out on a variety of occasions during extra innings.  Everybody seemed to have “stopping the other team from scoring” down pretty well.  “Allowing ourselves to score” was sadly, thanks to a clerical error, left out of the Phillies 2012 Handbook.

Hero

Hunter Pence with the repetitively heroic bases loaded single to nab a two-run lead in the tenth.  Chooch didn’t even get thrown out at third this time!  Fortunately, Juan Pierre grounded into a double play immediately and saved the concise nature of the comeback.

Villain

Yeah, we get it, you’re an elite talent, Matt Kemp.  What a cliche it is to see the best player on the team hit the walkoff.  The real story would have been Luis Cruz or somebody getting the game-winner.  Instead, we get exactly what everyone knew would happen.  Ooooh, Jake Diekman vs. Matt Kemp in the bottom of the 12th!  Gosh, I wonder which one of them will hit a walkoff home run to avoid the sweep.

YAWN.